


He's All That

by suallenparker



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Academy time, Deal, F/M, Flirting, Love, Movie AU, She's All That AU, Young Philinda, bet, philinda au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-09 22:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2000454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In her last semester of Academy, Melinda finds out that her long time boyfriend cheats on her. Luckily a bet with her best friend Maria offers distraction and some mending for her bruised heart and ego: Within a month, Melinda wants to turn the rambling dork Phil Coulson into the King of the Ball that takes place at the end of the semester.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breaking

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare yourself for some silly but hopefully amusing and entertaining She’s All That!Philinda (wasn’t I clever picking the title? Oh yes, I was. I’m a genius). I tried to keep everything as close to character as possible but needed to take some liberties to get the set up right. - Thanks to ddagent for her great support and encouragement with this story. And thanks to you all for all the support and encouragement you give to me so generously on a regular basis. THANK YOU! This is for all of you. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have fun writing this!

Her beloved SHIELD mug shattered to a million pieces on the ground and Melinda pressed her lips together. Brilliant. Just brilliant! Not that she really would’ve thrown the mug at her soon to be ex fiancé, but the thought had been so tempting!

“I’m so very, very sorry,” said Phil Coulson and kneeled down. His hair was too long. The Beatles’ haircut made him look like a dork. Which he was, so there was that. “So very sorry,” he repeated. The tips of his ears glowed red between strays of pale brown hair. He put his ever present notebook down and picked up a big shard of the mug.

“Kinda fitting, actually,” she mumbled. She couldn’t believe that Thomas Wen had cheated on her! But the evidence was overwhelming. Maria Hill had shown her the photos of Thomas and a pretty woman from the village. The photos came accompanied by a dossier full of easy and efficient ways to cut of Thomas’ balls. And that was why Maria Hill was Melinda’s friend.

In front of her, Coulson collected what was now a sad metaphor for one of her most valued relationships. “I’m so very, very sorry, May,” he said again, his head hung and his gaze focused on the floor. “I didn’t see you and then suddenly I saw you but it was too late and I’m so sorry.”

Moments ago she had walked around the corner on the second floor of Operations West Wing (Physical Training), when Coulson had ran into her. Her shoulder hurt a little. Otherwise she was fine.

“It’s fine,” she said. Thomas wasn’t worth the trouble of a tantrum. Melinda didn’t like wasting emotional energy if she could use it for something else instead. Like acing her finals, for example. Finals were less than a month away and she _would_ graduate with honors. That was something worth putting energy towards. Not grieving over stupid Thomas cheating bastard Wen.

“I’m really sorry, May.” Coulson tried to piece two shards together but without success. “I will buy you a new one. A better, bigger one.”

She took a breath. Thomas and she had been friends since she could remember. How could he do that to her?

“Gosh, I’m so very sorry.” Coulson sighed and glanced at her with his head down, strays of hair falling over his eyes. “And now you’re upset and that’s just not right and I’m so very, very-”

“I’m not upset.” Not about that stupid, worthless mug. Not about Thomas. Not about anything. And even if she was, she wouldn’t allow Coulson – or anybody else for that matter – to see it.

He lifted his head and their gazes connected. “I know your face,” he said calmly. “You’re upset.”

Coulson knew her face? They barely spoke a word to each other. She squinted. “Excuse me?”

“Uhm …” He swallowed. “I mean, I’m good at reading facial expressions. I mean, I … “ He focused on the sharps again. “You’re upset. Please just let me -”

“Thomas!” she called out when her lying, cheating so very soon to be ex fiancé came through the big door at the end of the floor. Melinda knew his training would end now, that was why she came here in the first place. Passing by Coulson, who still cowered over the shards, Melinda walked up to him.

His hair was wet, he must’ve showered after training. She could smell the shower gel she had bought him for his birthday. Just like herself and Coulson, he wore standard issued cargo pants, shirt and a SHIELD sweater.

His face lid up. Damn him! “Darling!” he said happily. “Did you miss me?” He reached his right hand. She hid her hands behind her back, brought her feet into a loose fighting position and leaned back sightly, so his hand just touched empty air.

“It’s over,” she said quietly. “I flushed your stupid ring down the toilet. Go fish it out yourself, asshole.”

“Melinda!” His hand dropped to the side, his mouth opened, his eyes widened. She knew his face so well. He was her best friend since she could walk. Since she knew what the word friend even meant and he had betrayed her! How _could_ he? She clenched her fists. Dropping his ring into the toilet had felt so good. Hill had cheered. Melinda was sure, Hill had stayed behind in the bathroom stall just to flush the toilet herself just once. And now Thomas looked at her like his whole world just burned to the ground. How _dared_ he?

“How can you be so stupid and not even realize when someone shadows you?” she asked. It was insulting. It was amateur.

He took a breath. “I -”

“Or did you want to get caught with what’s her breast size? Was the sex any good?”

“It was -”

“If you tell me I will rip out your jugular,” she hissed. Maybe a tantrum wasn’t a bad idea after all. She felt like screaming. Thomas was her first kiss. Her first lover. Her only lover so far. When she had been little and her mother had been angry at her for disappointing her again, Thomas and she had hidden in his treehouse. And he had betrayed her. Damn it.

He didn’t take a step back. He didn’t even flinch. “Did you ever love me?”

She snorted. “Don’t you make this about me, Thomas. I’m not the one who cheated!”

“I love you.” He hung his shoulders. He looked defeated.

“No -”

“You know it’s true, Melinda.” he said and she pulled in a breath. “I always loved you,” he continued while watching her face. “I fell in love with you when we were fourteen and you gave me my first kiss. I loved you before.”

Her eyes burned, the image of him mounting that other woman lingering in her mind. “Then why did you betray me?”

“To matter to someone.”

Oh, that was so unfair! “You _matter_ to me. You’re my oldest, closest friend. How could you–”

“But you don’t love me,” he interrupted calmly. “And we haven’t been friends for a long time.”

They were both so fucking calm about it. So civilized. Damn it, damn it, damn it. He knew her better than anybody else.

“You don’t allow me close,” he said and it stung. “You don’t let anybody get close. Why is that?”

Because it hurt and people left and she just couldn’t. She pressed her lips together. Why couldn’t he stay satisfied with what they had? She had been content. Why couldn’t he? Oh gosh, this hurt.

“Just …” He sighed and tilted his head. “Just say you love me and we can fix this. Please, I …”

“I don’t want it fixed, Thomas.” She wanted it to stop. He was right. She never loved him. Not like he loved her. She tried. She tried so hard. And she loved so much about him. His body, his mind, his soul. He was part of herself. But she could never love him like he wanted her to love him. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Maybe some people just weren’t good with love. Fighting was so much easier.

He swallowed hard. “Which toilet?” he asked.

The ring. “Men’s room next to the cafeteria in the East Wing.” The grossest toilet Operations had to offer. Her choice. Hill had been so proud.

Thomas nodded sharply, before he walked away and left her behind.

She turned to watch him go and found Coulson standing up. He balanced his notebook with both hands, the biggest shards of the mug were collected on it. His eyes were focused on her. He must’ve heard everything. Brilliant. Exactly what she needed. Damn. She bit her lip.

He blushed when their gazes met again. “I just tried to pick up the pieces -“

“No more need for that.” She wanted to be alone. She felt like crying and she sure as hell didn’t need him to witness that as well.

He sighed. “He gave you the mug, didn’t he?”

“When he told me he’d join me at Operations.” He had offers from other agencies, but he came here because of her. Not that Thomas had ever allowed her to forget that.

“I’m sorry,” Coulson said.

This was unreal. Melinda lifted a brow. “I never loved him anyway, didn’t you hear?”

Coulson shook his head slightly. “He hurt you.”

Yes, he had. She pressed her lips together.

“I’m sorry, I’m overstepping,” Coulson said and looked away.

What should she say to that? Words never had been her weapon of choice. Usually she had nothing to say. And as long as she was quiet, she could say nothing wrong. She had never told Thomas that she loved him. Not once. Not even when he had proposed.

Coulson frowned and looked first at her and then at the tiny splinters on the floor. “I’ll get a dustpan and brush,” he said.

“You don’t have to-”

“I’ll clean it up, May,” he interrupted and gave her a side looped smile. “You go and do something useful. Let me do that?”

He was kind and again she lacked words. So she nodded, forced the corners of her mouth as high as she could bear and walked away.


	2. The Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Melinda doesn’t cry and Maria comes up with a bet.

“How was it?” Hill asked when Melinda joined her and Victoria Hand at their spot in the library.

Melinda sat down next to Hand. “He's probably trying to fish out his ring now,” she said.

“Good.” Hill closed her book, but Hand continued to read the last few sentences of the page, before she placed a napkin between the pages and closed it.

“Did you throw the mug at him?” asked Hill.

“Coulson broke it.”

“Coulson?” Hill looked at her with widened eyes. “What was he doing there?”

Melinda shrugged. How should she know?

“How are you feeling?” asked Hand and touched Melinda's arm.

Melinda pressed her lips together. Betrayed and humiliated and left alone. Or so she had felt just moments ago. Now she wasn't alone anymore. She had her friends.

“I think we should kill him,” said Hill.

Hand shook her head. “That's against protocol.”

“Are you shitting me?” asked Hill and leaned forward.

“We're still from the same agency.”

“No, really, are you shitting me?”

“We can't kill our own people, even if they're cheating bastards.” Hand shrugged.

“Nobody would find out.”

Hand and Melinda just looked at Hill.

Hill tilted her head. “I could get all the chemicals we need in the drugstore down the street. It's no trouble, really.” That was true and they all knew it.

“Hill …” Hand sounded seriously worried now. Melinda smiled. Hill was a great friend.

“I wanna see his bones dissolve!” Hill said. The very best friend.

Just being with her friends made it easier for Melinda to breathe. She hadn't even noticed how heavy her lungs had felt just moments ago.

And it made it easier to tell them what he got stuck in her mind. “Am I cold?” she asked.

“Did he say that?” Hill asked and glared. “Did that piece of shit call you cold? Seriously?”

Melinda swallowed. “He said I never loved him and I'm pushing everybody away.”

“That fucking asshole said fucking what?” Hand sat upright in her chair, her hands clenched into fists.

Melinda looked at the table and pressed her lips together.

“He wasn't worth your love, anyway,” Hill growled.

Yes, he was. Before he had cheated, he had been. Melinda bit her lip.

“He'll be so much better once he's just jelly.” Hand hissed.”You don't even have to be involved. I have a free hour after the shooting round tomorrow and it won't take much longer than that. I basically have everything at home.”

“Killing him won't help,” Melinda mumbled. Then she looked at Hand. “And it's against protocol.”

“Screw protocol,” spat Hand. “First he cheats and then he blames you? That asshole!”

Hill nodded at Hand. “This is why we're friends.”

Melinda took a deep breath. Suddenly her stomach wasn't cramping anymore. “He isn't worth your skill set,” Melinda said. “He didn't even know Maria tailed him. And we don't kill amateurs. We step over them.”

“That worthless piece of shit. I'm gonna break his fucking arms,” growled Hand.

Hill grinned. “And this is why I'm staying friends with you.”

  
  


o0o

  
  


Two days later and that worthless piece of shit was still alive. Temporary homeless because of a mysterious toilet explosion in his apartment, but alive. Melinda heard the news this morning. Hill and Hand didn't seem surprised. They high fived and Melinda didn't have to ask. She had the best friends.

Next to each other they ran the last two miles of their marathon. It felt good to train together and Melinda loved running through the outdoors. Usually they all just settled for the treat mills in the training room, but this was so much better. feeling the wind and the sun and the changing vacation surrounding them. Melinda loved how the sunlight fell through the treetops above them. It felt good to really move forward while running.

“We should prank someone,” said Hand. They all were breathing easily. Their bodies were in top shape. They would speed up for the very last mile and afterwards none of them would be panting. But Hand's mental condition was worrisome. Not that Melinda didn't love pranks, because she did. But Hand was usually the one to keep Hill and her in check when they planned something against Hand's precious protocol.

Melinda turned her head. “Are you alright, Hand?”

Hill snorted. “She's nervous because she wants to propose to Anna.”

Hand elbowed her. Hard. “Hill!”

Blushing, Hill bit her lip.

“You're so damn insensitive sometimes!” Hand cursed and looked and Melinda. “I'm sorry, May.”

“Don't be.” Melinda forced a smile. She hated that her friends thought they needed to hide this happy news from her. Her heart ached a bit, yes, and her ego had more than a few bruises, but if her friends had something to celebrate, she wanted to celebrate with them. And Hand and her Anna were a couple for over six years now. And so happy. This was definitely something to celebrate. “When will you ask Anna?”

Hand took a breath. “Not at all.”

“What?” Hill looked at her with widened eyes.

Suddenly Hand was beaming brightly. “Anna asked me last night,” she said and her smile almost split her face in two.

Hill gasped. “She did …?”

Hand nodded. “Knee fall and everything.”

“No wonder you're radiating today.”

“We're so happy, we're ,” Hand swallowed and looked at Melinda. “Is it okay if I …?”

Oh, dear God! Enough with the pity already! Melinda raised a brow. “I want to hear every detail.”

Hand smiled. “We wanna have an engagement party in two weeks.”

“I support that plan!” Hill said excitedly. “We all need to get drunk and it can't wait until the ball.”

The ball was the annual event after the last exams of the graduating class. The first years organized a big party to honor the students that would leave as agents. Each year a king and a queen of the ball were crowned similar to a prom. But all the years Melinda had attended, it was never as much of a deal as in high school. The king and the queen both drank for free the whole night though. And free booze was always lovely.

“”Thomas can't be king of the ball,” Melinda said. Thomas was well liked by the other students and would likely be crowned king. But he was also a worthless piece of shit who didn't deserve free booze. “Is that petty?” she asked.

Hill grinned. “Yes, and I love it.”

“Who then?” Hand asked.

“Coulson,” Melinda said without even thinking about it. More a reflex, really. What a strange reflex to have. But surely nothing worth over thinking.

“Coulson?” Hill asked. “Phil Coulson?”

Melinda gave a slight shrug. “He's not an ass.” She still remembered him kneeling on that floor and picking up the shards of her former mug. There, that was a good reason to have. He had been kind to her which made him worthy of free booze. Nothing else behind it.

“He's a dork,” Hill said.

“Kinda cute,” said Hand.

“You're engaged!” Hill snorted a half giggle.

Hand chuckled too. “Even if not, his dick's a turn off.”

Melinda grinned.

Hill shook her head. “He's a puppy. I wanna fluff his hair and bake him cookies.”

“You don't bake,” said Melinda.

“He wakes my motherly instincts!” Hill raised a brow. “The king needs to be hot.”

His hair was stupid and none of his suits had the right fit, but his arms and his voice … She hadn't allowed herself to think of him like that while she had been engaged to Thomas. She was loyal, after all. But Thomas was an ass and Phil Coulson … “He's hot.”

“What?” Hill and Hand stared at her. Had she said that out loud?

Melinda swallowed. “I could work with him.”

Hill frowned. “What're you saying?”

“I can turn Phil Coulson into the king of the ball.” Because he was kind and had a sexy voice and deserved free booze.

“There's only a month left until the ball,” Hand noted.

Melinda nodded. ”I can turn him into the king of the ball in less then a month.”

“Sounds like a bet to me,” said Hill.

“Not really,” Hand mumbled, “all he needs is a hair cut.”

“Shut it, Hand. Do we have a bet, May?”

“Our usual agreement?”

“Loser walks naked over campus.”

“Perfect.” Hill reached out her hand and they shook on it.

“I can live with that.” Hand smirked. “Absolute win/win for me.”

“You're engaged!”

“Anna and I will watch together. It'll be like my engagement gift to her.”

Hill stared at her and almost stumbled over a tiny branch on the ground. “You're so kinky!”

“Jealous?”

“Hot damn, yes!”

And to be perfectly honest, so was Melinda.

“Last mile!” she called and sprinted away.

  
  


o0o

  
  


She would approach this like an undercover mission, Melinda told herself as she walked up to Phil Coulson in the cafeteria. He sat alone at a table, eating a slice of cherry pie. His notebook lay opened next to him. When he noticed her, he quickly closed it and stared at her.

“May …” He frowned.

Damn. Her stomach clenched. She hated undercover work!

“Go out for dinner with me,” she said quickly as she stopped across from him, the table between them.

His eyes widened and he cleared his throat. “Excuse me?”

“Dinner.” She swallowed hard. This was a disaster but she couldn't look away. “The two of us. Tonight.”

“But I broke your mug!”

Hand was right. Phil Coulson was damn cute. Melinda took a breath and relaxed a little. “You could pay if that would soothe your conscience.”

“It would.” He smiled. Damn cute smile. “You want me to pick you up?” he asked.

“Eight o'clock?” she asked. Her stomach fluttered. Damn.

His damn cute smile widened. “I'll be there.”

She nodded shortly before she turned around to walk back to Hill and Hand, who were staring at her from their table.


	3. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Phil rambles and it’s a disaster.

Melinda checked her lipstick for the third time, when the phone in her dorm room went off. She took the call after the third ring, “Melinda May.”

“Is it true?” No greeting, no small talk. As always Lin May got straight to the point. Melinda didn’t have to ask what her mother was talking about.

“He cheated on me, mum,” Melinda said, pronouncing the words carefully. Already her palm started sweating around the phone.

“So it’s true.”

Melinda swallowed. “I had no choice.” She wanted this conversation to be over. Phil Coulson would pick her up in half an hour and it wasn’t that she was nervous, she just didn’t like lying. And she should probably change again. The short, black dress felt like costume. Then again, maybe a costume would help her to treat this with the needed professionally. Maybe she should just call him and cancel.

“There’s always choice,” Lin May said.

Melinda pressed her lips together. The disappointment in her mother’s voice was obvious. As always.

Lin May sighed. “What will you do now?”

“Focus on my exams.” She had worked for this so hard. And she wanted it. More than anything she wanted to be a SHIELD agent. A specialist. Somebody who’d protect others. And she’d be good at it. She’d be the best. She could feel it in her bones. She’d be the very best and she’d be free.

“You should’ve called me,” her mother said quietly.

Call her and tell her what? That once again she had failed her mother’s expectation? She had never approved of Melinda’s choice to join SHIELD instead of becoming a lawyer or a doctor, but her father had supported her. He had always listened to her and her wishes. Whenever her mother was quiet, even that silence spoke.

“I had to hear it from Thomas’ mother,” her mother added. She disliked Thomas’ mother, always had. Even though Thomas’s father had been Melinda’s father’s best friend, Lin May never warmed up to his spouse. But the Wens were a respected family, that shared some of the same traditions as the Mays. And Thomas had always been a good son. Lin May had been pleased when Thomas had proposed to her daughter.

Melinda closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Calm breaths. In and out.

“I’m _your_ mother,” Lin May said.

“I know.”

“You should tell me such things.”

Hand called her mother every week, even though she had to lie to her with SHIELD being a secret agency and her mother not having the needed clearance level to learn about it. - Unlike Melinda’s mother who was CIA with clearance level high enough that Melinda didn’t know the exact digit.

“Just … “ Lin May sighed again. “Just call next time, Melinda.”

“Yes, mum.”

Without a goodbye, her mother ended the call. Melinda looked at herself in the mirror. She looked ridiculous. The red lipstick, her open hair. She wore perfume. She wore a freaking dress! This wasn’t her. She would call Coulson and quit on him. She could do another round of training tonight. Walking naked over Campus wasn’t too bad anyway.

Before she could punch in the first numbers, someone knocked on the door. If that was Franklin again, wanting gun lessons, Melinda might just shoot her. She opened the door and in front of it stood … Coulson.

“May …” He looked at her with widened eyes. Beautiful eyes. She wanted to brush away those strains of hair that hung over them.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m too early. I could go again and come back and -”

“Hi, Coulson,” she said.

He took a breath. “Hi, May.”

“I’m ready to go,” she said. It’d be terribly rude to send him away now that he was here.

“Great.” His smile really was cute. Then he frowned. “You’re wearing a dress.” He wore jeans, a dark green shirt and a brown leather jacket.

“Is that a problem?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I can handle it.”

“Good to know,” she said. Was he blushing?

He pulled up his shoulders, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I thought we could go to Nico’s for some pizza, but you’re wearing a dress and I’m not sure if it’s fancy enough because you look so beautiful but there aren’t that many restaurants here and I’m not sure …” He swallowed hard and shook his head slightly. “Or we could drive somewhere but I don’t have a car and -”

“Pizza’s fine,” she cut in. He had called her beautiful. Her stomach did that fluttering thing again and she swallowed.

“You sure?”

“Yes.” She loved pizza.

“Okay.” He nodded and smiled again. “Good.”

  
  


o0o

  
  


She should’ve canceled. Twenty minutes later they sat at a corner table at Nico’s and the water served them their pizza. Melinda was grateful for it. She hated small talk. And she was terrible at it. She was a terrible date. Oh God. Being with Thomas, she had never noticed because they never actually dated, they just slipped into their relationship, but this …

Melinda took the first bite of her pizza and looked at her plate. This felt like a really bad date. This wasn’t a date. She wasn’t ready for a date yet. Not with Coulson. Heavens, he was so sweet. The way he opened every door for her. How he tilted his head and listened while she talked and – No. This wasn’t a date. Because Phil Coulson deserved something serious and she was here because of a bet with Hill. This was a mission. And she had a goal here. If she’d only knew how to accomplish it! How the hell did this help her to get Coulson elected king of the ball? Not at all, probably.

The whole burden of the conversation weighed on Coulson. Melinda doubted, he enjoyed it, but he kept trying and trying. Maybe she should just tell him the truth and they could go from there …

“So, uhm, why did you join SHIELD?” he asked and bit into his slice.

Because of her mother. “Didn’t want to go to the FBI or CIA,” she said. A full sentence with more than three words. She was making progress. The pizza helped. “What about you?” she asked. Glancing at him, she took another bite.

“The program they have is really good, so …” He shrugged and dug his head. “You gonna laugh about me.” He gave her that half looped smile again. Cute.

“I won’t,” she said.

“I maybe kinda joined because of Captain America.”

The corners of her mouth twitched.

“It’s ridiculous, I warned you.” He took a sip of his beer.

“It’s not.”

His lips thinned.

“I don’t think it’s ridiculous,” she said. He was adorable.

His mouth relaxed. “Why didn’t you want to join the other agencies?”

“My mother.” She bit into her pizza. She did _not_ want to talk about her mother.

“She’s with the CIA, isn’t she?”

Melinda chewed and swallowed. “Yes. I wanted something for myself.”

Phil took a bite of his pizza and nodded. “I understand,” he said after he swallowed. “I think that’s why I’m here as well. My mother … she called today. She thinks I study economics.” He shrugged. “I hate lying to her. I’ve always been good at it, but I don’t like it. Knowing that I’m here training to become a secret agent would probably scare her half to death. Once in high school a baseball hit me during a game and I got a concussion. She begged and begged until I stopped playing, she was so scared. Ever since my dad died …”

She hadn’t known he had lost his father, too. Melinda swallowed hard. Her father had died shortly after she joined the academy and it had hurt like hell. Two years later and it still hurt.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“It’s okay, but now it’s just the two of us, you know?” Coulson shook his head. “I was a decent pitcher. Quite good, actually.”

She put her pizza down and grabbed her beer. Without her father’s support, Melinda would be at Harvard now. Or Yale. Melinda never understood why her mother was so strictly against her following her parents footsteps. Her father had been FBI, her mother was a high ranking CIA agent. Hadn’t she proven herself in countless fighting tournaments? Hadn’t she proven herself strong enough and worthy?

“Did you play baseball?” Coulson asked.

“No.” She took a deep sip. Since she had joined SHIELD she had proven herself again and again but whenever she talked to her mother, she always felt like she had to do more. She just didn’t know what.

Coulson shrugged again. “You might like it, maybe the two of us could –“ He shook his head. “Probably a bad idea.”

She bit her lip. She was a horrible date. She shouldn’t have picked up the phone, but she couldn’t avoid her mother forever. Poor Coulson. This wasn’t working at all.

“Did you see any good movies lately?” he asked.

He was so very cute! And still her mind didn’t provide her with anything smart to say. She shrugged. Operations didn’t leave her much time for anything else but training.

“Me neither.” He nodded shortly. “With the exams coming closer and everything.”

Yes! She should’ve just said that!

He sighed. This was bad. She blushed and concentrated on her beer. She would so lose this bet. Why did she even suggest it? How should she be able to turn anybody into anything when even having pizza with Phil Coulson left her speechless? Damn.

They ate in silence.

“Would you like dessert?” Coulson asked after the waiter had cleared the table. To his honor, he made that question sound sincere. She might be a lousy date but he didn’t make her feel like it.

“No, thank you,” she said. He had suffered long enough.

He gave a short nod and stood up. “Okay, then just let me get the check real quick.”

She lifted her chin. “You don’t have to -”

“Please, allow me,” he interrupted, his eyes pleading with her. “It’s the least I can do.”

What was she to say to that? So she swallowed and looked down. After he paid, they left the restaurant together. And just like on their way in, he held the door for her.

They started walking back to the Academy. He put his hands behind his back and she crossed her arms. She’d like to touch him. Ridiculous.

He sighed and looked upwards. “Lovely weather today,” he said.

She nodded. It was still warm.

“I like training outside,” she said.

He turned his head and smiled at her. “Me, too,” he said. “Especially when I jog. It’s always so boring on the treadmill but outside you have all the different grounds and the vacation and … yeah.”

The weather should stay like this for a while. And she really liked jogging. Maybe this could work. “Are you free tomorrow night?” she asked.

His eyes widened. “You want to see me again?”

“We could train together.” She might be a lousy date but she was a good training partner. And people could see them train together and then people would vote for him because … well, because. She would figure out the details later.

“Why?” he asked, sounding surprised. “I mean, are you sure? You just broke up with …” He swallowed Thomas’ name. “You were really quiet and I thought …” he added. “I know, tonight I was … I usually don’t bring up my dead father on the first date or Captain America or …” He blushed and pulled his shoulders up.

Did he think this date was a failure because of him?

“Hill and I have a bet,” she said. She should’ve gone with that right from the start.


	4. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a deal is struck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There wasn't much reaction to the third chapter, but I hope you still enjoy the story …

The moment she asked him out, he had suspected other motives. Because why would Melinda May ever want to go out with him? Especially given their history, short as it was. Thus far he had admired her intensely from afar since they joined the academy, broke her mug, witnessed her break up with her asshole fiancé and took her out on the most awkward date possible. Whenever she was close he was tongue tied – No, that wasn’t true. Whenever she was close he rambled like a babbling idiot. He was the absolute opposite of tongue tied. He was brain-tied.

Her new revelation didn’t change that.

“Excuse me?” he asked and stopped dead in his tracks.

She stopped as well and turned to him, her arms still crossed. “Hill and I have a bet,” she said quietly when their gazes met. “If you don’t become king of the ball next month,” She took a breath. “I have to walk naked over campus.”

He blinked. Naked Melinda May. Naked. Melinda May naked. Damn. He swallowed hard and forced his eyes to stay on her face instead of looking her up and down. Melinda May could be naked. On Campus. Naked. Oh God.

“Did you hear what I said?” she asked.

He had the chance to see her naked at least once. He swallowed again. “Yes,” he said. “Why?”

May sighed. “I don’t want Thomas to win.” Her lips thinned. “And you’re …” she continued, “you’ve been so kind to me and … You deserve free booze much more than he does.”

Not letting Thomas Wen win anything. King of the ball. Free booze. His mind started working again. “That explains it,” he said. “The date, the dress … And I thought -” Just for a split second, just for a moment he had thought that maybe, maybe she wanted to be with him. He swallowed. Of course he hadn’t really believed it, but he had hoped. Stupid. He took a breath. This was about Thomas Wen, that cheating asshole. Of course it was. Phil had seen her face after Wen had walked away and left them with the shards. Whatever she had told him, he knew she had loved Wen. He had seen the pain in her eyes. “Okay.”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“Okay,” he repeated and started walking again. “I’m in.”

She caught up to him quickly. “You are?”

“I don’t like Thomas,” he said. And he hated seeing May hurt and humiliated by some worthless piece of shit. “And I like free booze. It’s perfect.”

“Thank you.” She sighed. Her shoulders relaxed and she dropped her arms to her side. He even noticed a tiny smile on her face. And it made it worth it. It shouldn’t, but it did. Once again he was a fool for Melinda May. Nothing new here. They weren’t right for each other romantically, anyway. He needed someone … less. Someone more his speed. But maybe they could be friends. Yes. He liked that idea. He hadn’t thought about kissing her that often today, and now he knew the truth that would probably stop anyway and they could be … friends. He felt less nervous already. He was good at being a friend, that he could do.

“So what’s the plan?” he asked.

“Hm?”

“The plan? How shall I turn into the king of the ball?”

“Hand suggested a hair cut …”

“What?” He ran his hand trough his hair. Was there something wrong with it?

“Nothing.” She blushed. He wondered how her lips would feel if he’d kiss her but just for a split second so it didn’t really count. She sighed. “Uhm … I thought, we could just like … spent time together in public.”

He raised a brow. “So your glamor could shine on me?” He tried to make her smile, but her eyes widened and she shook her head.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said. She was adorable. “I …” She sighed again and he couldn’t help but smile.

“You haven’t thought this through, have you?” he asked.

She pressed her lips together and looked forward. “Thomas and I’ve been together basically our whole life, did you know that?” She glanced at him.

He had known that! First day at Operations during the orientation walk over campus, he had asked Thomas Wen if he’d knew that pretty girl that walked at the front of the group. And Thomas Wen hadn’t stopped smiling while he told Phil about the wonderful Melinda May, love of his life. Wen had seemed so happy and proud and so damn in love, Phil’s stomach had knotted with jealousy. That cheating asshole. “I’m sorry, May.”

“It’s okay.” Her steps quickened up.

“No, it’s not.” He could see the campus already. Two more minutes and they’d reach her dorm.

“He was right too, you know?” She glanced at him. “Never loved him. Not like he loved me.”

“Still, he should’ve talked to you, not go around your back and -”

“I think he tried, it just didn’t help.” She crossed her arms again and he wanted to touch her.

He clenched his fists. “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself.” He should punch Wen for that. Repeatedly.

“My mother is so disappointed in me,” she mumbled.

“What?” Seemed like he needed to have words with that woman!

“I’m just …” She pulled her shoulders up. “I love work. But people …” Her voice was tiny now. “I’m cold sometimes, I guess.”

He shook his head. “If you could see yourself … “ Vulnerable and strong and open and so human, she was all that in this exact moment. He cleared his throat. “You’re not cold. You’re …” Breathtaking. He wanted to hug her. He hid his hands behind his back. “You’re not cold.”

“I’m sorry.” she looked at him sideways and touched her forehead. “Damn, I’m the worst date ever, I’m so sorry.”

“There were worse.”

“Really?” she asked, slowing down again.

“At least you showed up.”

She winched. “Ouch.”

He thought about kissing her again. Maybe that was just reflex. Who could look at her and not want to kiss her? Nobody. Exactly. “May?”

“Hm?”

“Wen is an asshole and you deserve much better.”

They had reached her dorm and she stopped and turned to face him.

“I’m really sorry about this,” she said, looking up to him. Even in heels, she was smaller than him.

“Don’t be. It was fun.”

The corners of her mouth twitched upwards. “You have low standards.”

No, not at all. He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. “At least you had the guts to ask me out. I’ve been trying for weeks to …”

“You …?” Her eyes widened.

And he blushed, shaking his head. “Oh. No, I’d never, not when you’re … “ Damn it! He hadn’t even thought about asking her out, not so shortly after she broke up with Wen and even if things were different … but they weren’t. He took a breath. “Audrey,” he said. Damn it, he hadn’t want to talk about that, but his mouth wouldn’t stop moving, “Her name’s Audrey. She’s in witness protection, I gave her the ground tour of the town to help her settle in two month ago. Every Saturday noon she plays cello in that little coffee shop now.”

“The Symphony?” May tilted her head.

He nodded like an idiot. “I saw her play a few times.” He saw her play every Saturday. “And I … I haven’t even talked to her yet. Not really.” He swallowed. Oh God. He was such an _idiot_.

“But you want to go out with her?” May asked.

He nodded. With Audrey he could see a future. Something normal. Something safe.

And suddenly she smiled. “I could make that work.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll help you to ask her out,” she said, still smiling.

“How?”

She shrugged. “Don’t know yet.”

Oh God, this was surreal! He snorted. “Sounds promising.”

“Trust me,” she said.

“I do.” He smiled. What the hell had he gotten himself into? They looked at each other and he knew he wouldn’t back out. He’d befriend Melinda May and spent time with her and become king of the ball for her, so Wen could shove it and she’d help him get the girl of his dreams. What could go wrong?

“Coulson?” she asked then.

“Hm?”

“Was this a pity date? You and me and -”

“No!” How could she even think that?

“Then why did you …”

“Because you’re _you_. I mean … “ Damn it. How should he explain without sounding like a creeper? “You’re like Captain America, but real. Well, Captain America is a real historical figure, but you’re alive. Er, technically we don’t have proof of his death because we never found the body so he could be alive, somewhere, like Elvis and uhm … yeah.” That went well. Crap.

“Oh.”

Crap again. “I probably didn’t express myself very well, I just …” Good thing this wasn’t a date because he just kept blowing it with her. He sighed. “It had nothing to do with pity.”

She squinted at him, before she gave a short nod. “Tomorrow we should train together,” she said.

“So your glamor can shine on me?” He was so lame! Why did he say that? She just stared at him. He swallowed. “Exit at the great hall, seven o’clock?” he tried.

“Perfect.” She smiled again and again he thought about kissing her. Damn it.


	5. Sparing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they do something they both enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your support! It means more than you could ever know! *hugs* Thank you for being there for me!

It rained and this could ruin everything. He didn’t mind jogging in the rain, but what if May did? Then she wouldn’t train with him tonight. And that would just be bad. So the rain had to stop. Phil glared at the sky and blinked against the rain drops as he rushed from his dorm to the old north tower. There was a little training room on the first floor and at this time of day, he would have it all to himself, like he preferred it. It was still early in the morning, not even six o’clock, so he had hope the rain would stop. Not much he could do about it anyway. Sighing, he entered the north tower and went to his dorm, running his training towel over his face to dry it. Luckily his shirt and sweat pants were dry aside a few drops.

Approaching the training room, he heard noises coming out of it. Fantastic! If it was Barton again, he’d stay. Barton usually trained in silence. But if it was talking Thorns, he’d leave. He sighed again. Today didn’t seem to be his day. He was just looking forward to seeing May tonight and -

He opened the door to the training room and paused.

Melinda May stood in front of the sand bag that hung in the right back corner of the room. Her hair was wrapped in a high pony tail and she wore the standard SHIELD training clothes, sweat pants and a black shirt. She had her right leg in the air and repeatedly kicked the bag, before she threw a punch with her right.

“May?”

She turned around, her hands still in the air. “Coulson?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt, but this is kind of my spot and -” He took a breath. “I’ll come back later.”

He was about to pull the door shut, when she called, “Wait.”

He opened the door again and looked at her.

She dropped her arms to her sides. “The room I usually use …” She took a breath and shrugged. “Thomas is there.”

“And you want to be alone.”

“Yes.”

He nodded. “No problem.”

“Coulson?” she asked. “You could … you could stay if you want.”

He wanted that very much. “You sure?”

She swallowed. “How are your close combat skills?”

“Good, I guess.”

“Would you like to maybe train with me?” she asked.

He should say no. He wanted to kiss her already and getting physical with her probably wasn’t wise. Friends don’t kiss friends during training sessions and he wanted to be her friend. He really should say no.

“Yes,” he said.

Ten minutes later she blocked one of his kicks with her right hand. “You need to try harder,” she said.

“Do I?” He threw a punch with his left, she caught his wrist and twisted his arm, so she had his back turned to her. She put her other hand on his shoulder and pushed him down.

“Now you’re just a little more entertaining than the sand bag.” He heard the smile in her voice.

“Hey!” He shifted quickly, turned and used his momentum to throw her over his shoulder and onto her back.

She gasped. “Better.”

He grinned and stood. “Always happy to please.”

She grabbed his ankle and suddenly, he was lying next to her. He gasped. Within seconds, she straddled him and pressed his hands into the mattress to both sides of his body. Her knees rested on his arms. She was magnificent.

“Know what?” he asked. They both were panting now.

She grinned and applied more pressure to his hands. “What?”

“You’re also more entertaining than a sand bag.”

“Wanna go another round?” Her grin widened.

He raised a brow. “Who said I’m done with this one?”

She laughed in surprise when he rolled them both around. The first time he had ever made her laugh. It distracted him enough for her to break free and stand up.

They went through two more rounds before they took a break and both emptied their water bottles.

“You’re good,” May said and patted away the sweat on her forehead with her towel, before she draped it around her neck.

“Likewise.”

They smiled at each other and he could catch his breath. Outside the rain was still falling, he could hear it.

“It’s raining,” he said.

She looked at him like he was stating the obvious, which technically he was doing. Crap. And everything had gone so well!

“I mean, because of tonight,” he tried. He was blushing. “If it’s still raining -”

She tilted her head slightly. “Afraid of a little water?”

That sounded like a challenge. Relieved, he took a breath. “So we’re still on?”

“If you can handle it,” she said and the corner of her mouth twitched upwards.

Oh God, he wanted to kiss them and feel her lips bloom into a smile under his mouth. He swallowed. “Not sure, but I’ll be there anyway.”

She nodded. “We’ll talk strategy then. And you can tell me about Audrey.”

“Yes.” He swallowed again. Audrey. Of course.

  
  


o0o

  
  


The exit at the great hall was closest to the forrest that surrounded the back of Operations. The best jogging routes started here. He didn’t know if she’d wait for him if he’d be late, so he showed up fifteen minutes early to … to stretch, like one should before jogging. Stretching took him five minutes., so he did it again. He was almost done with his third round, when May showed up, this time wearing leggings and a tank top. Her hair was wrapped up in a little bun at the back of her head.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi.” He got up from stretching his right leg and ran his hand through his hair. “It’s not raining anymore,” he said. “And the sun is like … shining.”

Again he was stating the obvious and again she stared at him. It was a lovely summer evening. Now the sky was blue and the sun was indeed shining. Crap.

“I wouldn’t have minded the rain,” he said, “but it’s nicer like that.”

She squinted at him. “Can’t imagine you having trouble talking to anyone.”

His mouth fell open. She grinned and his heart skipped a beat. “Ready?” she asked, before she turned and started jogging.

Quickly, he caught up with her and they fell into an easy paced rhythm.

“Rambling and talking isn’t the same,” he said as they reached the forest line.

She looked at him and there was a soft twinkle in her eyes. “Agreed.”

He took a breath. He still felt like an idiot, but he didn’t mind as much. For a while they jogged in silence.

“Tell me about Audrey,” she said then.

He dug his head. “Might’ve rambled to her about the different uses of matches.”

“Oh no.”

“I came up with five.”

“Oh, Coulson.”

He sighed. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” she mumbled.

“You think I’m cute?” He looked at her with widened eyes but she stared at the road ahead.

“What kind of person is Audrey?” she asked.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Now she looked at him. “Wanna keep fishing for compliments or get to work?”

He smiled. Melinda May thought he was cute. “Doing both isn’t an option?”

She looked away and jogged a little faster. Obviously it wasn’t. He sighed and followed her. Time to get to the point, then.

“Audrey’s sweet,” he said as he caught up with May. “She smiles easily and she has the most beautiful eyes. She loves music. She’s still scared because of what happened to her, but she tries to not let it show.” Audrey was so brave. He admired that about her. “She’s kind. She’s generous. She’s a great musician. When she plays, everything about her is just …” He sighed and smiled as he remembered her playing last Saturday. “It’s like she’s the truest form of herself when she makes music, like she’s shining.”

“She sounds like a great person,” May said quietly.

“And I talked to her about matches.” He sighed.

May chuckled. “Better not do that again.”

“Good call.”

“You should ask her out.”

“I’m trying!”

May looked at him again. “When will you see her next time?”

He shrugged. “Well, she asked when I’ll next have time to see her play and this Saturday I can’t because we’re doing a training mission with Fury, but I told her next Saturday I could come, so -”

“Wait,” May interrupted, her eyes widened. “She asked you when you’d come back?”

He nodded. “I think she feels safer with someone from SHIELD around.”

“Or she asked you out.”

What? No way! “She …” … had asked him specifically and if he had offered to send Bale, she seemed … disappointed? He swallowed. His heart was racing. “Oh.”

“And next Saturday you’ll ask her out.”

“Okay.” He could do that. Audrey Nathan had asked him out and he hadn’t even noticed! Oh God. What a fool. No use in dwelling on it. He shook his head.

“What about the king of the ball thing?” he asked.

“Are you free Sunday?”

“Yes.” Would she like to train again?

“Then we’re going to the beach with Hill, Hand and a few others.”

“To do what?”

“Relax.”

“Oh God.” He couldn’t suppress the words.

“I’m not very keen on these group things either,” she said.

“Then why go?”

“Hill and Hand make me.” She glanced at him. “But people will get to see us together and that should help with the thing.”

“You still have no plan, do you?” He chuckled, she blushed and was utterly adorable.

“I’m taking it one step at a time,” she said.

He grinned. “It’s not my naked ass everybody’s gonna see the day after the ball.”

“Too bad.” She speeded up her steps and left him behind open-mouthed again.


	6. Makeover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Phil gets a hair cut

Something was going on, Melinda could feel it. Hill and Hand have been exchanging looks the whole day. Earlier at close combat training and just now at the shooting range. Funny enough, just this morning Thomas had found nothing but dust in the box of his favorite gun. Now it was lunch time and Melinda wondered if they’d confront her with whatever was going on before she’d eat or after. She’d prefer after.

“So …”, said Hill as they walked from the shooting range to the great hall. “You went jogging with Coulson two days in a row.”

There they went. Hill and Hand walked on both sides of her.

“How was it?” Hand asked.

“He could keep up,” Melinda said. She was too hungry for such silliness.

Hand turned to her. “And …?”

And he was kind of adorable and she wondered how it’d fell like to brush his too long hair out of his eyes. she wondered if kissing him would result into him rambling or shut him up. Melinda shrugged.

“Damn it, May.” Hill sighed and glared at her. “Spill!”

“Unless you want to tell us what you did with him in the North Tower this morning …” said Hand.

Hill grabbed Melinda’s arm and the three of them came to a halt. “You’re having sex with Coulson and didn’t tell us?!”

“I’m not having sex with Coulson,” Melinda said.

Hand squinted. “But you want to.”

Nope. She didn’t want to, not really. Fine, he had a cute butt, so what? That didn’t mean anything.

Hill tilted her head. “’ _Could keep up_ ' is a pretty big compliment coming from you …”

Melinda sighed and started walking again. “I’m trying to get him elected as king of the ball, remember?” Making a new friend was just a bonus. Because that was what was happening between Coulson and her. Friendship. He was really sweet and she enjoyed spending time with him.

Both women followed her.

“So you’re purely doing your duty,” said Hand.

“Yes.”

Hill nodded. “Dutifully screwing him in the North Tower.”

“We were sparing,” corrected Melinda.

Hill lifted a brow. “That’s what I said.”

Seriously? Were they still in high school? Coulson was a good training partner. That was all. Sure, his body felt good against hers and his sweat had a nice scent and – Melinda swallowed. She missed the regular sex that her relationship with Thomas had brought her. “Sparing and screwing aren’t the same,” she said.

Hand grinned. “Can be if you do it right.”

Yes, Melinda remembered. Her hands clenched to fists. Thomas and she had had some good times in the training room at the east tower. Another reason why she now preferred to train in the north tower.

“Oh, May …” Hand paled.

Hill glared at her. “You’re so insensitive, sometimes!”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Hand frowned and touched Melinda’s arm gently. “Wen is such an asshole.”

“It’s okay.” Melinda took a breath.

“No, it’s not,” said Hill and rubbed her other arm. “We’re sorry.”

“We both are,” said Hand. “You don’t have to tell us about Coulson if you don’t want to.”

Melinda swallowed and unclenched her hands. Maybe she wasn’t okay yet. But she sure as hell would be. “He really needs a hair cut,” she said then.

Both her friends gave her a questioning look.

She swallowed again. “Coulson. Hair cut. He needs one.”

“Okay.” Hand smiled. “We can do that.” She rubbed over her arm again, before she let go. “I’ll call Anna.”

“Must you inform your fiancé of every detail in your life?” Hill snorted and hooked her arm under Melinda’s.

“Who do you think does my hair?” asked Hand, lifting her chin.

Hill shrugged. “Fancy hair dresser?”

Hand shook her head. “Anna cuts my hair. She’s very gifted with sharp things.”

“And the colored strays?” asked Hill.

Hand grinned. “I like playing with chemicals.”

Hill grinned as well. “That you do.”

They high fived in front of Melinda and she smiled. She’d be okay, eventually.  


o0o  


An hour later, Coulson opened his door a crack and his eyes widened. “May?”

Strays of hair hung over his eyes. It really was too long.

“Do you trust me?” she asked. Maybe she should’ve said hello, but she was a little nervous.

He squinted. “Why?”

She took a breath. “You need a hair cut.”

“I do? But I … I do?” He swallowed and his eyes widened again. “Really?”

She was about to shake her head, when Anna brushed past her.

“Yes,” Anna said. The big bag she carried over her shoulder graced Melinda’s arm.

Coulson opened the door a little wider. “Who are you?”

“My fiancé,” said Hand from behind Melinda, before she stepped in front of her.

“Hand?”

“Coulson.” Hand grinned and gestured at Anna. “This is Anna Janovčik. My fiancé.” There was such pride in her voice. Anna beamed. They were so happy! Melinda’s heart tightened just a little.

“Nice to meet you.” Coulson took the hand Anna offered him, before he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Giving you a hair cut,” said Anna.

“You’re welcome,” said Hand. “Gonna invite us in, or what?”

Coulson swallowed and stepped out of the doorway, before he made an inviting gesture.

“Thanks,” said Hand.

“Very kind,” said Anna. And they both walked past him.

Melinda stayed behind. She pulled her shoulders up. “Are you mad?”

His face softened. “No.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Is it really that bad?”

“Yes,” said Hand.

Melinda shook her head. On her way into his room, she ran her hand over his arm. He sighed and closed the door behind them. They both stayed at the door while Anna and Hill walked to the middle of the room. It was a lovely room. Enough space for a big bed, a two-door closet and a desk with a wooded chair in front of it. Underneath the big window stood a low bookshelf. Melinda saw a few books she possessed herself, one about knifes, one about weapon in general. The obligatory close combat handbook, SHIELD standard issue. But one of the shelves was filled with maybe eight of the notebooks Coulson usually carried around with him.

“Your room is bigger than mine,” said Hand and looked around.

Anna opened the bag she had brought. “Every room is bigger than yours.”

“I know! It’s so unfair!” Together they took a piece of thick foil out of the bag and unfolded it.

“Once I’m a big shot CIA agent, I will buy you a big house,” said Anna. They placed the foil on the ground in the middle of Coulson’s room.

Hand chuckled. “Once I’m a big shot SHIELD agent I will buy my own big house.” She stood up and grinned down at Anna. “Then I will have two houses.”

“Brilliant plan,” said Anna. The two of them smiled again as Hand placed the chair onto the foil and Melinda’s heart pulled tight again. She wanted love like that. Even while Thomas and she had been together she had envied Hand for her relationship to Anna.

“Ready when you are,” said Hand to Coulson and tapped at the back of the chair. Anna pulled out a cape and a pair of scissors out of her bag.

After he took a deep breath, Coulson settled at the chair. Anna wrapped the cape around his neck. He glanced at Melinda and took another deep breath.

She smiled at him and leaned against the wall. His mouth twitched into a smile, before he rolled his eyes to follow Anna’s movement, as she ran her hand through his hair. Melinda hoped Anna wouldn’t cut his hair too short, she’d like to do that too.

“Tell me a secret, Coulson,” said Anna, took a stray of hair on the back of his head and cut it off. “I’m now your hair dresser, you can trust me.”

“No.” He smiled but Melinda saw his hands grab his knees underneath the cape.

“He’s smart,” said Hand.

Coulson looked at Melinda. “Your friends are weird.”

“I’m handling sharp things here,” said Anna and cut off the next stray. “Better watch your words!”

“Oh please,” he snorted. “It’s just scissors.”

“Could tell you four ways from the top of my head to kill you with those,” said Anna and held them in front of his face.

He looked right through them into Anna’s eyes and lifted a brow. “I came up with five and that’s not what I meant.”

Anna tilted her head. ”Then what?”

“This.” With a swift movement, his right hand shot through from under the cape and took the scissors from Anna like candy from a baby.

“Wow!” she said impressed.

Melinda’s stomach fluttered.

“Good move, Coulson,” Hand said with an appreciative nod.

He grinned. “Thanks.” He offered the scissors back to Anna.

She took them with a smile and started to cut his hair again.

“Told you our close combat training is better than yours,” said Hand to her.

Anna focused her gaze on the scissors and Coulson’s hair. “You gotta show me that move.”

“Training tonight?” Hand asked.

“Deal.” The glance at Hand as well as the smile that accompanied it told Melinda that Anna had more in mind than just training. Hand grinned too, before she looked around the room again. She walked to Coulson’s desk and picked something up, before she turned to show it to Coulson.

“Now that we have you here, what’s with these?” Hand held up one of the notebooks.

“It’s a sketchbook,” Coulson said.

“You sketch?” asked Melinda.

He smiled at her. “I doodle.”

“May I?” asked Hand and lifted the book a little.

He nodded. “Sure.”

Hand flicked through the book. “You’re good,” she said. Unfortunately Melina couldn’t catch a glimpse.

“Thank you,” Coulson said. Maybe he could show her the drawings some other time …

“Close your eyes,” said Anna and started cutting his bangs. He complied.

Hand put the notebook back on the desk and kneeled in front of the bookshelf. When she pulled out on of the notebooks in there, Coulson blinked at her through the falling hair Anna cut from his head.

“Not that one!” he called.

Melinda looked at him. Was he blushing?

“Sorry,” Hand said and put the book back. She stood up.

Coulson exhaled. “Thank you.”

Hand shrugged. “We have to violate so many personal boundaries because of our job, no need to do that in private.”

Melinda smiled. Things like that were why she appreciated Hand’s friendship so much.

“And,” said Anna and ran her hair through Coulson’s now much shorter hair, “I’m done.” She brushed a few strays sideways before she stepped away, placing her hands on her hips. "Another masterpiece!”

Anna put the scissors and the cape away and pulled a small hand mirror out of the bag that she held in front of Coulson.

“It’s …” He touched his now free temples, “different.”

“You look hot, Coulson,” said Hand and winked at Anna. “You know, for a man.”

He looked at Melinda and swallowed. “May?”

The new hair cut suited his features better. She gave a short nod and smiled.

He smiled too and turned back to Anna. “Thank you,” he said. “I like it. I think.”

Anna smiled. “You’re welcome.” She lifted the bag and put the mirror into it, before she looked at Hand.

Hand smiled. “We’ll go,” she said. “You can throw the foil away. See you later, May. Coulson.” She nodded at them both.

“Thanks again,” said Coulson.

“Bye,” said Anna. And they were gone.

Coulson stood up and put the chair back. Melinda helped him to wrap up the foil with the hair and together they put it in the trash. Then they just stood next to his desk. She should probably leave.

Coulson tilted his head. “Don’t you think it’s too short?” he touched his left temple. His hairline was receding, but Melinda thought it looked quite … hot. She touched the hair above his right temple and his eyes fluttered shut.

“It’s perfect,” she said.

He looked at her. “So this shall help me become king?” he asked with a half smile.

She wanted to cradle his face. She wanted to kiss him. Just once. Just to try it. She pulled her hand away and dropped her arm to her side. “It should also help you with Audrey,” she said.

He swallowed. “You think?”

Yes. She’d really like to kiss him. “I should go,” she said.

“Will I see you tonight?”

“Argos asked me to go to the shooting range with him.”

His smile faded. “Oh.”

“Says he needs the training,” she added.

“Couldn’t agree more.” He sighed. Argos was a fine agent but his aim was always off by a few inches. He was good looking, too. Right now she would’ve preferred to go jogging with Coulson.

Melinda blinked. “Are you still coming with us to the beach?” she asked.

“Of course!” He straightened up and lifted his chin. “I wanna show everybody my new look!”

She chuckled. Damn, she wanted to kiss him. “See you tomorrow,” she said instead and walked away. She needed to get herself laid. That was all. Preferably by someone who didn’t want to screw other women.


	7. The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they hang out with friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. This chapter proved a little difficult since my first plot-plan for it turned out to not work with the characters at all! I hope you enjoy it and as always, I'd love to hear from you! Chapter 6 didn't get that much attention, so I hope you're not bored with this. 
> 
> Thanks to lola381pce and SYM for their support! Your comments give me the biggest smiles!

He took his cell and dialed the number by memory. It had never changed since he could remember. The cell held up to his ear with his right hand, he placed his left on his right elbow as he walked from his desk to the closet in his room. Elaine Coulson picked up at the third ring.

“Coulson.” She sounded all stern and serious, but that was because the phone made her nervous. Whenever he was home, it was his duty to answer it. He turned and walked back to the desk. He always paced when he was on the phone. - At least when no one was watching him.

“It’s me, Mom,” he said.

“Phil!” Now she sounded excited! And he felt guilty.

“Yes, hi. How are you?”

“I’m doing great. How are you? Doing well on your exams? Promise me to not work too hard.” The words came fast and he smiled. He had missed her.

“I’m going to the beach today,” he said.

“Really?”

“Yes.” It felt so good not to lie to her. He barely had the chance to tell her something true of his life. “Some new friends from my university invited me to come along and the weather is perfect today, so …”

“Will Audrey be there, too?”

“No, she won’t.” And back to his closet, he went. “I’ll see her next Saturday.”

His mother clicked her tongue. “You should ask the girl out.”

“May says the same.” He sighed.

“May?” his mother asked. “Who’s that again?”

Crap. He hadn’t planned on mentioning her. He swallowed. “A new friend.”

“No … Not new …” she said slowly. “You mentioned the name before … Isn’t she a girl in one of your classes?”

“You have a great memory, mum.” And he needed to be more careful about what he’d tell her. She was a civilian, after all.

She snorted. “Don’t you mock your poor mother!”

“I’d never dare.” He grinned and there was a silence. He knew she was grinning, too. After finishing up the academy, he’d take a short leave to visit her, he promised himself. He really missed her. He missed home. And whenever he was home, he felt trapped. Everything was routine and safe and … boring, quite frankly. He got bored. But it made his mother happy and he loved seeing her like that. Besides, with Audrey he’d feel different. It’ll be different. Normal wouldn’t be boring with her.

“Now tell me, how are you, Phil?” his mother asked with a smile in her voice.

“I have a new hair cut.” Still pacing, he ran his hand through his hair and smiled.

"Really?"

"Yes."

“You sound happy.”

He was. Last week had been fun. “And school is going well and May …” This morning they had another training session, but he couldn’t tell his mother about that. Economy students didn’t train in close combat. He didn’t want to make up another lie. “She said Audrey tried to ask me out and I just didn’t notice,” he said instead.

“Sounds like you!”

“Thanks.”

His mother chuckled. “Phil, I love you but when it comes to girls, you’re clueless. Just like your father. I basically had to kiss him to make him see.”

Yes, she told him that story before. His father had always claimed that he had kissed his mother first. Phil nibbled on his bottom lip. “Do you still miss him?”

“Of course I still miss him.”

Yes. Phil sighed. “I still miss him, too.”

“I know you do, honey. He’d be so proud of you. He always hoped you’d become an accountant like him.”

His lips thinned. He hated lying to his mother, he really did. But she was a civilian. And he was not. Being an accountant would be an honorable thing. But he needed to do more. He needed to safe and protect and that was what he’d do. He’d make a great agent. He’d make a difference. He owed that to his father. He owed that to himself. That knowledge helped him sleep at night. And not knowing left his mother in peace.

“So, May,” she said. “Didn’t you have a crush on her in your first semester?”

Damn, her memory was good and she always noticed too much. “She had a boyfriend, mum.”

“ _Had_ a boyfriend? So she doesn’t have a boyfriend now?”

“They broke up a few weeks back.”

“Interesting.”

“She really wants to help me with Audrey.”

“Oh, honey.” his mother sighed. He could almost see her shake her head in pity.

He frowned. “What did I say now?”

“Just make sure you really want the things you pursue. Or the girls.”

“May and I are just friends,” he said and walked a little faster. “She’s still heartbroken and we wouldn’t make a good fit and Audrey is such a wonderful person and -”

“And not once did you deny having a crush on May.”

He stopped in his tracks. No. His heart skipped a beat. “Mum …”

“I just want you to be happy and safe and loved.” Her voice was soft. It felt like a hug.

Damn it. He pressed his lips together. “I’ll get there, I promise.” Audrey would make him happy. And he would make her happy. They’d be normal together. She’d be his safe place. His peace. And Melinda May was … not.

His mother sighed. “Have a great day on the beach.” There was that smile in her voice again.

“I will.” He sighed and smiled as well. “Bye, mum.”

He was not in love. - Well, he was. But with Audrey. Sweet, kind, wonderful Audrey. - Not Melinda May. Not again. They’d be friends and he’d be happy to have her as a partner. That was all. Sure, he wondered if she’d wear a bikini to the beach today, but that was just normal, right? She was beautiful and he was neither blind or dead. Didn’t mean he was in love. At least not much.

o0o

May wore a sporty, black swim suit. And she had the most beautiful legs.

The sand was already warm under his feet and there was not one cloud hanging in the sky. it would be a hot summer day. Phil wondered if maybe she’d swim a few rounds with him. He was sure she’d be a good swimmer. Right now she talked to Hand and her girlfriend. Janovčik was her name? Yes, Anna Janovčik.

Hill stepped next to him. She wore a black bikini. He wore black trunks. All of the ten other cadets, whose had joined them at the beach wore black. Must be a SHIELD thing … Well, all of them except for Janovčik, who wore a purple bikini that complimented her red hair. But since she was with the CIA, she didn’t really count.

“So,” Hill said and stretched the word, “You’re Coulson.”

“Hill, we have like three classes together.”

“But now you’re with May.”

He turned his head and frowned at Hill. “And that makes me a new person?”

“That makes you a person of interest,” Hill said deadpanned.

He raised a brow.

Hill looked at the ocean again. “What are your motives?”

“Are we seriously doing this?”

“Don’t make me hurt you.” Now she glared at him.

He shook his head. “I’m not drunk enough for this.” May’s friends were nuts. all of them. He took a step towards the cooler that stood in the shadow of the cliffs, when Hill touched his shoulder. He turned to her again and she pulled her hand away.

“Your motives, Coulson.” Her glare intensified. “Spill!”

“Becoming king of the ball,” he said slowly as if talking to a child which he suspected would hopefully annoy her. “Helping May out and making you lose the bet.”

Hill straightened and turned her head. “May!” she bellowed. “You told him?”

May turned away from Hand and Janovčik and took a step in their direction. “Told him what?”

“The bet!” Hill growled. “You told him about the bet!”

May shrugged. Holding hands, Hand and Janovčik followed her until they all stood in some kind of circle.

“Of course she did!” Hand laughed. “Great actress, terrible liar, our Melinda.”

“I hate insincerity,” May mumbled, which made Hand laugh even more.

Tilting his head, Phil grinned at her. “I’m glad you told me.”

Hill sighed heavily. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

That made Hand giggle. “Someone’s mad.”

“Shut up, Hand!” Hill focused her glare on the tall brunette, but Hand just giggled some more.

Phil shook his head. “Your friends are so weird.”

“Nah, you like us,” said Janovčik with a wide grin. “I can tell.”

She was right. He grinned as well. “I’m gonna get myself a beer.”

May touched his arm when he walked past her.

o0o  
  


Melinda stretched her legs out on her towel and ran her right hand through the sand. She loved the feel of it. A few feet away, the others laughed and played volleyball, but she was happy right where she was, just watching, a bottle of water next to her and a crime novel waiting in her lap to be read. She was already wearing her sun glasses.

Coulson was in a team with Hand and Anna and they were doing quite well. He looked really good in his trunks. She smiled. The muscles on his back were lovely to watch.

A shadow cast over her and when she turned her head, she saw Hill lay out her towel next to her. She sat down and reached for Melinda’s water.

“You should bone him,” Hill said and nodded at Coulson. She opened the water bottle, before she took a sip.

Melinda tilted her head. “Excuse me?”

“Bone as in have sex with, screw, fuck against the nearest surface.”

“Got that and no.”

“You think he’s hot.” Hill handed her the water and she took a sip as well.

“Not happening, Hill.”

“Maybe not sex against the wall, maybe just something like … yoga but with orgasms.” Hill brushed her arm against Melinda’s. “It’ll be like a cleanse after all that Wen bullshit.”

“He’s in love with someone else.”

“Bullshit.”

Melinda pulled her legs up. “He told me so himself.”

Hill snorted. “I’m calling bullshit until there’s proof that other girl actually exists. I saw him look at you.”

“That’s respect.” Melinda swallowed. Coulson was very respectful. And cute. “He sees me as a tutor or something.”

Raising her eyebrows, Hill turned to her. “A tutor?”

“Gonna help him get his girl.”

“May, no.”

That was the deal. And he deserved to get what he wanted. Melinda swallowed.

“You should get him yourself,” said Hill.

“Next time I get involved with someone in any way, I want all feelings to be mutual.” As in equal. No more unrequited love. No more trying to force herself to fell more than she did. Or less.

sighed and touched Melinda’s shoulder. “May …” And there they went with the pity again. No.

Melinda looked at her friend and smiled. “And I had sex. With Argos, last night.”

“How was it?”

“Very mutual, hot, against the wall and satisfying. Twice.”

“Well done, cadet!” Hill grinned.

Much better. “We did it in the shower as well, just for good measure.”

o0o  
  


Two hours later, Melinda found Phil sitting aside the others on a cliff above the little beach. He smiled at her when she settled next to him, but he also looked a little pensive. Sad, almost.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

He looked down at the others. They just had started a new round of volleyball in the shadows of the cliff. The breeze made it cool enough to move around.

“You think we’ll have many moments like this?” he asked.

Days on beaches? “Doubt it.” Not with their work schedule.

“Yeah.” He sighed and pulled his shoulders up slightly. “All this lying … the living in the shadows …”

What was he talking about? “Coulson?”

“I talked to my mum again today,” he said, still without looking at her. “I could tell her about the beach thing. Finally something I didn’t have to lie about and –“ He took a breath and turned to her with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I’m rambling again.”

She wanted to touch him. She wanted to hug him and kiss things better. Instead she said, “You talk to your mother a lot.”

“You think that’s weird.”

It always surprised her when people got along well with their mothers. But that said more about her than about him. “I don’t think it’s weird,” she said. She thought it was sweet.

Coulson sighed again. “I just hate lying to her, but she’s a civilian and …” He pressed his lips together and hung his head. “And she couldn’t handle the truth,” he added quietly. “She’d be terrified.”

“Like when you played baseball.”

He straightened up and looked at her. “You remember.”

Of course she did.

He smiled. Oh, he was cute. Kissable. She swallowed.

“So, she said, “Are you nervous about asking Audrey out?”

His smile faded. “Don’t remind me.” He sighed heavily. “What if I talk about matches again?” That really seemed to worry him.

She clenched her hands, unwilling to give into temptation of touching him. She wanted to stroke away that frown of his. “You’ll do fine,” she said. “I’ll help you.” It’ll make things clearer for both of them. and she really wanted him to be happy. He deserved it.


	8. Symphony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8: Symphony  
> In which they make preparations and Phil talks to Audrey.

Melinda applied red lip stick just like she had watched her mother do it on countless occasions. She rolled her lips against each other and put the lip stick away. Today she felt even further away from her mother than on other days. - No, that was wrong. There were always these distances between them. These detachments. But today was her father’s birthday and she missed him so very much. The second year without him. Two years. The first month after his death, she had thought about barely anything else but him. Had felt nothing aside this loss. Now she functioned again. She could smile at the shooting range and think of him. She could move on. She _had_ moved on. And today she had a mission.

Melinda slipped into her leather jacket to complete her outfit, existing of black jeans and a tight black top, when her cell rang. Probably Coulson. They were supposed to meet at his dorm in ten minutes. From there they’d go to the Symphony to watch Audrey play and to get him a date. A nice distraction. And Coulson deserved to be happy, he really did.

She just missed her dad so much. With him, things were easy. Talking was easy, silence too. With her mother it always felt like balancing on raw eggs. She always had to be careful.

“I told you to call me,” Lin May said as soon as Melinda answered the call.

“Mum?” Melinda’s stomach clenched. They just had talked two weeks ago. She hadn’t expected to speak to her mother again before graduation.

“You promised to call.” Lin May’s voice was controlled, as always tinted with disappointment. “If something happened, you promised to call.”

Melinda’s stomach was in a knot. “Nothing happened, mother. No more troubles.” She had done so well during the last two weeks, really. She had been a good daughter.

“That’s not …” Lin sighed. “How are you, Melinda?”

“Focused.” It seemed like a good answer.

Her mother swallowed. “You would call if you’d need my help, right?” There was an urgency behind her words that surprised Melinda. She sounded so much like … like her mother. She had used that tone when Melinda had been little.

Melinda took a breath. “Yes.” It was true. Their relationship was complicated but Melinda knew she could count on her mother if need be. Of course she would look at Melinda disapprovingly the whole time, but she’ll help nonetheless.

“Good,” Lin May said.

There was nothing to add.

“Goodbye, Melinda.”

“Goodbye, mum.”

Not one word about her father. Melinda pressed her lips together and put the cell into her jacket. Then she pulled her brush roughly through her hair, before she tied the hair up into a tight pony tail. After she put some cash and her ID into the inner pocket of the jacket, she was ready to go.

Time to get Coulson what he wanted. Time to move on.

  
  


o0o

  
  


When he opened the door, he looked a little hectic. “Hi, May. Come in, I’m trying to …” He stopped himself and frowns as he took a step back. “What’s wrong?” he asked and touched his temple. “Is it my hair again?”

Oh, that man. “It’s fine,” she said and walked past him into his room.

He closed the door behind them and looked down his body. “The shirt?” he asked and walked to his closet with a sigh. “I wanted to wear the blue one but I need to iron it and we might be late and I’d hate to be -”

“Breathe, Coulson,” she interrupted him. The white shirt suited him perfectly and fitted nicely to the dark pair of jeans he wore. He looked handsome. She swallowed and forced a smile. “You look fine.”

He turned to her and dropped the hand that was reaching for his closet just moments before. “Oh.”

She snorted. “Fishing for compliments again?”

“No, I mean …” He took a breath and walked up to her. “What happened, May?” he asked and touched her arm. His eyes were soft and gentle.

“It’s my father’s birthday,” she said.

He tilted his head. His hand closed around her lower arm, not really grabbing it, but just holding her slightly. His touch felt good.

She swallowed. “And my mother called.”

“Did you talk about your father?” he asked.

“No.”

Again, he stayed silent.

“I never talk of him,” she said. Usually she had no trouble staying silent herself. “I don’t want to talk about him,” she added and pressed her lips together.

He shrugged. “After my father died, I talked about him all the time. Like I couldn’t stop. Like if I wouldn’t talk about him, he’d be completely gone and forgotten,” he said. “Eventually, after a week or so, my mother sat me down and together we wrote down everything we could remember about him. And every time one of us remembered something we hadn’t written down yet, we wrote that down too. Until there were no more new memories. He was dead five years, then. My mother still has the notebooks.”

Oh God. Her eyes are burning. “My mother and I never talk about him,” she said and hid her arms behind her back, losing his touch in the progress. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to cry into his shirt. Her father was dead. Oh God.

“But you miss him,” he said.

So much. She nodded, biting the insides of her cheek. He stayed with her, just looking at her. It was strangely calming.

“I joined Shield because of him,” she said eventually. Saying it felt good. Like giving her dad credit. “And now he won’t even see me graduate and I-” She took a breath. Oh God. She closed her eyes. When she opened them again, he still just stood there. “Aren’t you gonna say something to that?” she asked.

Coulson smiled. “You’ll make a kick ass agent.”

She snorted. It made her feel lighter. He made her feel lighter.

“My dad is the reason I’m here too,” he said.

“How did he die?” she asked before she could stop herself. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean-”

“A robbery.” he said calmly. “Someone shot him for about hundred bucks in his wallet and his watch. A drug addict. Killed himself with the drugs he bought from my father’s money. He had my father’s watch around his wrist, next day they found him.” He swallowed. This time she reached out for him. He took a breath when she touched his arm.

“Yours?” he asked.

“In his sleep. Heart attack.”

They looked at each other and she wanted to hug him. She wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her. He made her feel safe just by looking at her. How strange was that? She cleared her throat and stepped away.

“We should get going,” she said.

“May, we don’t have to -”

She had been selfish with Thomas, she wouldn’t be selfish with him. “I want to. I promised you and -”

“Doesn’t matter. If you want to stay in, we stay in. We could order pizza.”

That sounded lovely, but no. No more uneven relationships for her. No more settling. “I want to go, I need …”

“The distraction.” He nodded. “Okay.” He turned and picked up two belts from his desk. “Which one should I wear? Brown or black?”

“What kind of shoes will you wear?”

He raised his brows, then they both looked at his feet.

“The brown one, to match the shoes,” she said.

“That’s like a rule?” he asked and smiled at her. “I like it.”

“Do you know what you’ll say to Audrey?”

“That was great.”

“Excuse me?”

“I thought,” he said and started to pull the belt through the loops of his jeans. “I could start by complimenting her on her music, you know? Tell her that it was great?”

“What if she’ll have an off day today?”

He shook his head. “Doubt it.”

“So how will you ask her out?”

“Would you go out with me?”

“Simple enough.” Gosh, he was adorable.

“Thank you.”

“Where do you plan on taking her?”

His eyes widened and he froze in his movements. “May, what am I gonna do if she says yes?”

That made her grin. He was hopeless! “You’ll go out with her.”

“But I’m awful at dates! I’ll just ramble and ruin everything and-”

“You’ll do fine.” She wanted to kiss him and she wasn’t even interested in him like that. At all. He was just so … cute. And safe. And in love with somebody else, which made him even safer for her. He was a great friend to her already. “You’ll do fine, Coulson,” she added with a smile. “You did fine with me.”

He snorted and dropped his arms to his sides. “That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

“After our first date …”

“Which was a disaster.”

“And not your fault alone. You did well afterwards. With me.”

He beamed at her. When he opened his mouth, she knew he was going to say something cocky.

She raised a brow. “Don’t ruin it.”

He closed his mouth and grinned. “Thank you,” he said then.

She rolled her eyes. “First you should ask her to have drinks with you after her gig. Then you could invite her to Hand’s and Anna’s engagement party. Like this it’ll be a loose event with not too much pressure and I -”

“Could keep an eye on me.”

“Exactly.”

“You think Hand would mind?”

“Not at all.”

“It’s a plan, then.”

They smiled at each other.

“You gonna buckle your belt, or what?” she asked.  
  


o0o

Two hours later they stood at the bar in the Symphony. It was loud and crowded. Audrey had stopped playing five minutes ago, now some pop song was playing. Audrey’s music had been beautiful. Elegant and soft and powerful all of the same time, just like the musician herself. Melinda could easily see what drew Coulson to the brunette. Audrey wore a red jersey dress, her hair framed her face with soft curls. She was indeed beautiful, even when she was busy putting her instrument in its case.

And right now Coulson should be talking to her, but he just held his glass of beer so tight, his knuckles whitened. She knew he was strong, and to be honest, she feared a little for the glass.

“Coulson, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Panicking.”

“Stop that immediately!”

Audrey had already spotted them from the stage. They had no time for him to lose his shit now. But he just stared at her like Bambi caught in the headlights. He was no use like this!

Melinda sighed. “Pretend it’s a mission.”

“Excuse me?” He looked at Melinda with widened eyes but his hand around the glass already relaxed.

She shrugged. “That’s what I do when I get nervous.”

“A mission?”

“You’re good at that undercover stuff.”

“You think so?” He sounded insecure and he was adorable and she would send him on his way to get the woman he wanted. Audrey was now done with packing her cello away and left the stage after she gave a guy her instrument, who then carried it out, Melinda could see her from the corner of her eye.

Melinda grinned at Coulson. “Just pretend you’re not about to shit your pants and ask her.”

“What if she says no?”

“She’s glaring at me right now.” She really was! Audrey looked at them from the stage, frowning. Jealous. Melinda refused to feel gleeful about it. Straight out refused! “Go to her,” she told Coulson, but, “too late.”

“What? Did she leave?”

Nope.

“Phil?” asked Audrey from behind him.

Coulson immediately straightened up and swirled around to her. “Audrey!”

“I’m so happy you came.” Audrey placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, before she looked at Melinda. “And you brought a friend.”

Yes, definitely jealous. “I’m not his friend,” Melinda said quickly and cleared her bar stool. “I’m his wing-woman.” She threw Coulson a look. That man needed to step up his game! Now he seemed even more flustered than on their date. - Not that it bothered her. Not that she cared. Well, she did care, but only for his sake. But there was nothing else she could do for him.

“Enjoy your evening,” she told them both.

“Bye, May,” Coulson stuttered.

Audrey smiled. “It was so nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Bullshit. Melinda turned and walked away.

“Would you like to have a drink with me?” she heard Coulson ask, his voice trembling.

“I’d love to,” Audrey said.

Yes, Coulson didn’t need to worry. Audrey had already fallen for him, Melinda was sure. And she felt like being alone anyway.

Outside the air was fresh and it was much quieter. Of course then her cell rang.

Melinda pulled it out of her jacket. “May.”

“Where are you?” asked Hill, she sounded impatient.

“Outside the Symphony.”

“Why?”

“I told you I’d help Coulson out.”

“Today? You gotta be kidding me!”

Melinda wanted to just hang up. “What do you want?” It’d better be good, or she would.

“Hand and I are camped out your room. We have pizza, popcorn and a few James Bond movies for us to mock.”

Melinda sighed. “On my way.”

Spending the night alone with her friends sounded perfect.


	9. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Phil takes Audrey to a party and Melinda is fine with it.

Smiling, Coulson wrapped his towel around his shoulders, before he handed her a bottle of water. They just had finished their training. Ever since that day she started training in the North Tower, they met here. Same time every morning. Not that they had planned it, it just sort of happened that they both shared the same training routine. Melinda and took sip from her bottle.

“I told you, you’d do fine,” she said. She gladly took credit for his good mood.

He chuckled and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the towel. “You just kicked my ass.”

As usual. She smiled. “Not what I meant.”

“Audrey said yes,” he said. He looked so damn pleased with himself. So happy.

“Your stupid grin told me as much.”

His smile even brightened. He emptied his bottle with one sip, rolling his head back. He had a lovely throat.

She snorted. “But that’s no excuse to let me kick your ass.”

His smile didn’t waver. “You almost always kick my ass at close combat.”

“Today you were at sand bag level.”

He pulled in a sharp breath. “Low shot, May!”

“And like so many others, one you should’ve seen coming.” She grinned.

“Walked right into that.”

She sighed and shook her head in pity. “Sand bag level.”

But his smile was unshakable today. “May?” he asked.

She took another sip from her water and raised a brow.

“Audrey will go to Hand’s engagement party tonight,” he said. “With me!”

Oh god, that guy had such a crush! It was adorable. Her stomach only pulled tight because she was hungry. “You really like her, hm?”

“I do.” No hesitation, not even for a second. She liked that he was so direct. She liked seeing him this happy and excited.

“You’ll be fine, Coulson.” And she would be too. Why wouldn’t she be? That Audrey person clearly was into him and she seemed nice enough. He deserved this.

  
  


o0o

  
  


Anna had organized the party in a little bar in the village close to Operations. It was in walking distance to their dorm, which meant they could all get drunk, well, more like have a drink or two. The exams would start on Thursday and they had the days until then off to prepare. Of course that meant they could sleep in a little tomorrow, but that was all the slack she would allow herself.

Eleven pm and the party was booming. The music was loud. Swing. People danced and laughed and chatted and whenever Melinda caught a glimpse of Anna or Hand, they were smiling. Hill hadn’t arrived yet, but Melinda didn’t worry. Not yet.

Coulson had indeed brought Audrey. Such a lovely, friendly person. Really, Melinda liked her. Coulson smiled whenever she was close, so that was good. He also seemed a little less nervous tonight than yesterday at the Symphony. Such a dork.

Coulson swallowed. “Do you want to lead or should I?” he asked.

Such. A dork. “Excuse me?” They stood at the dance floor. She had danced with so many people already and somehow she had ended up in front of him. Not that she minded. They had good rhythm fighting, she suspected they’d do well here too.

Coulson blushed. “I danced with both Hand and Anna and they both led, so I’m kinda used to that now.” He tilted his head. “How do they even dance together?”

“They take turns.”

He nodded slowly and nibbled at his lower lip. Yeah, she liked to do that, too. He had such a lovely mouth.

“I think Audrey might want me to lead,” he said.

Of course. Audrey. A short pain pinched her heart. Not that it mattered. “Where’s she?” Melinda asked.

“Dancing with Anna which is very intimidating because Anna is a great dancer.”

“She is.” He seemed really worried. Such a dork. Sighing, Melinda took his hands and placed one on her hip, before she placed hers on his shoulder.

“You lead,” she said. “You need the practice.”

“Thanks.” He smiled.

“Just don’t make it boring.”

His smile turned into a smug grin. “Oh, I’m gonna move you, May.”

She raised a brow. And he sighed.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t use that on Audrey.”

“Good call.” What would he do without her? He’d be perfectly fine, probably. But she’d miss him. He guided them over the dance floor and twirled her around. It wasn’t boring at all. It was lovely. Then he pulled her back against him with a little too much force and she crashed against him. - Which was also lovely. They both giggled. He had great lips.

He swayed them around backwards and bumped into someone else. Audrey and Anna. They moved until they swayed to the music next to each other.

Audrey had just eyes for Coulson. She was clearly in love with him. He was a dork, but adorable. And his lips … Well, Melinda could understand how one – not she, of course, but Audrey - could fall for him.

“Audrey,” Coulson said. There was so much tenderness in his voice. Melinda’s stomach pulled itself together and she didn’t want to think about why.

Audrey took a breath. She looked flushed. “Anna made me lead. I’m not very good.”

“You’ve got potential,” Anna said.

Audrey and Coulson smiled at each other and Melinda felt out of place. He still held her tight and it felt nice and she wished, it wouldn’t

Melinda swallowed and smiled at Anna. “You still haven’t danced with me.”

“Deepest apologies, Melinda,” Anna said with a grin. “We should rectify that.”

“How about now?”

Anna squeezed Audrey’s hand. “Would you mind a switch?”

Still smiling, Audrey shook her head. “Not at all.”

So they switched. Anna led them away from Coulson and Audrey. Her hands were much smaller than Coulson’s, but she really was a fantastic dancer.

“What are you doing?” Anna asked and twirled her around.

“You saw how he looked at her. I gave him what he wanted. That’s the deal.”

Anna raised a brow. “I saw how he held on to you until you pulled away.”

Oh, please. “He’s starstruck when Audrey’s around. It’s funny, actually.” She swallowed hard.

“You like him.”

“He’s fun to be around.”

“I saw you looking at him.”

“He’s great, really. I hope to work with him after graduation.” Working with Coulson would be fun. He would be an excellent agent. And she trusted him.

“Seriously, what are you doing, Melinda?” Anna frowned and pulled her against her.

“I like that he’s in love with her. They fit.” She shrugged slightly and avoided Anna’s gaze. “And it makes things less complicated for us.”

She just needed to kiss someone tonight. Coulson wasn’t the only one with great lips. Argos was a decent kisser and he kept looking at her the whole evening. Right now he stared at her from the bar. Melinda smiled at him over Anna’s shoulder.

“I thought Victoria and I could never work,” said Anna.

Melinda smiled at her. “And now you’re engaged.” That made her so happy. They so very much deserved the love they gave each other. Just like Coulson deserved to be with someone he loved.

“Exactly.” Anna lifted her chin. “Think about that before you just give up.”

Melinda sighed. “I’m fine, Anna.”

“No, you’re not.” Anna squeezed her hip. “But that’s okay.”

Damn it.

She pressed her lips together. She settled once with Thomas, she wouldn’t do that again. Argos was fun. Uncomplicated. He was what she needed right now. He was as much as she could handle.

  
  


o0o

  
  


Victoria had the time of her life. Well. She fanned her face and stepped away from the dance floor. It was a fantastic beginning for the time of her life. She grinned brightly as she walked to the bar and ordered a glass of water for herself. She was so thirsty! And she was engaged to her best friend and love of her life. Her heart skipped a beat. She still had trouble believing it. She was so damn lucky.

Glass in hand, Victoria turned around to watch the floor as she leaned against the bar. Right now Anna danced with May. As always she admired Anna’s grace. She was so elegant … Victoria promised herself to later express her admiration thoroughly by kissing every inch of her Monday morning. But May worried her a little. Sure, she smiled, but she kept glancing at Coulson, who was dancing with some brunette. Audrey.

Victoria still couldn’t believe that Audrey was real. Whenever she had seen Coulson and May together, he had looked at her like she looked at Anna. But now he was here at her engagement party and danced with this Audrey person. Sure, she was nice enough. But she was no Melinda May. And since he and May spent more time together, May seemed happier. She clearly was attracted to him, too. And if anybody deserved to be happy it was Melinda May.

Victoria sipped on her water before she smiled Michael Orm, who just ordered water for himself. Most people here stayed sober, but that didn’t spoil any of the fun.

“Enjoying yourself?” she asked him.

He clicked his glass against hers. “Your party is awesome,” he said.

“Know what you should do?” she asked. “You should vote for Coulson as King of the ball.”

“What did you say?” Orm called and leaned closer to her.

“Vote Coulson for King of the Ball and enjoy watching Hill walk naked over Campus!” she told him over the music.

“Why would that swing my vote?” He frowned. “Wait, do you think I swing like -

She rolled her eyes. “Maria Hill, not Sebastian.”

Orm got admitted to Operations two years later than she did and sometimes he could be a little slow.

“Oh,” he said.

“Mountains of the Hill!” she said and raised her arms enthusiastically.

He laughed. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

“My key note.” Hill said next to her.

Victoria turned her head and there she was, her hand on her hips, glaring. Finally!

“What’s going on here?” Hill asked.

“You’ve got my vote,” Orm said, grinning brightly. “Coulson shall be king of the ball.” He glanced at Hill’s boobs, before he took his glass and walked away.

Hill focused her glare on her. “Hand, explain this shit before I kill you, please?”

“First off, you’re late, so better explain that,” she said coldly. For that alone she should be allowed to make a banner with _Mountains of the Hill_ written on it. “Secondly May’s still sad.”

“First off,” Hill said, “I don’t want to lie to you. Secondly, May has her Coulson project and a bright future and -”

Victoria grabbed her friend’s arm. “Oh my God. You got a job already?”

“Can’t talk about it.” But Hill’s smirk told her everything. She already had her first assignment. On one side Victoria was happy and excited for her friend, but she would also miss Hill deeply, as obnoxious and unbearable as she was.

“When will you leave?” she asked.

“Right after the graduation ceremony.”

Victoria squeezed her arm and smiled, before she let go. “Coulson brought a girl with him,” she said.

“That Audrey person exists?” Hill’s eyes widened and her gaze wandered through the bar. “I thought it was code for _Please, Melinda do me now_.”

Yeah, Victoria had thought so too. “They’re dancing over there.” Victoria nodded at them. Audrey just laughed and folded her hands behind Coulson’s neck. They looked cute. Like a couple.

Hill sighed heavily before she turned to Peter Ryan to her right. “Wanna see my tits?” she asked.

He almost choked on his water.

“Vote Phil Coulson for king of the ball and I’ll walk naked over Campus for your viewing pleasure,” she added.

“Awesome!” he said.

“Tell your friends.” Hill smiled at him and they watched him walk over to three more cadets with a loud “Hey!”

Hill sighed. “I hate losing.”

“There, there.” Victoria brushed her arm against hers. “Good friend.”


	10. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Melinda teaches Phil something else.

Melinda hadn’t slept much. Her head hurt but it was half past five in the morning and she wouldn’t skip training just because she had been with Argos last night way after midnight. The sex had been satisfying. Empty too, but that was what she liked about their arrangement. He didn’t want things from her she couldn’t give.

Her sweater itched. Damn it. This morning she had grabbed it from the hanger. She should’ve thrown it out weeks ago, it always itched whenever she wore it. She wore her last pair of clean leggings and a top. She would have to wash some clothes today or she would have to wear that stupid itchy sweater again, tomorrow.

With her training bag thrown over her shoulder, she walked from her dorm to the north tower. It would turn into a wonderful day, the sky was clear and the sun already shining. With some luck, she could leave the sweater off on her way back. She probably would, anyway. Sighing, she hurried up and walked around the last corner. Coming from her left, she saw Coulson walking towards the north tower as well. Her silly heart skipped a beat. Gosh, she was so tired. She just hadn’t expected to see him this morning. That was all.

He reached the entrance door to the North Tower with her. Last night the party had been wonderful. Once Anna had pulled her away from him, Audrey and Coulson had stayed close to each other for the rest of the night. Dancing. Touching. Such a cute couple. And Coulson had looked so happy!

Now he was frowning.

“Morning,” she said.

“Morning,” he mumbled.

He looked at her but she didn’t feel seen. He opened the door for her and pressed his lips together. He and Audrey probably didn’t catch much sleep either. She admired his discipline. They had seemed so involved in each other, she was surprised that he had left Audrey behind for training.

Coulson sighed and she glanced at him as they walked down the floor to their training room. His frown had deepened. He held open the door to the training room and she walked past him. They both sat down their bags and he sighed again.

He wasn’t just tired, he was in a bad mood. Melinda couldn’t really think of any reason. Audrey was clearly head over heals for him. Or had he talked about matches again?

Anyway, his mood was distracting.

So she turned to him, “Out with it!”

“What?”

She tilted her head and put her hands on her hips. “What’s wrong, Coulson?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

She raised a brow. He had heard her just fine and something was definitely upsetting him. She knew his face good enough to know that and he wasn’t the only one good at reading facial expressions.

He sighed again. “How do you know if someone wants you to kiss them?”

Oh dear. She squinted at him. “You didn’t kiss Audrey.” What a fool!

His eyes widened. “How …?”

“She wanted you to kiss her,” Melinda said and crossed her arms. Gosh, he was so clueless!

“You sure?”

Audrey had touched him all evening and he still hadn’t gotten the hint?

“I’m messing this up,” he mumbled and shook his head.

No kidding. She shouldn’t be amused by it.

“Damn it, I’m messing this up.” He sighed again and looked at her. “What should I do now? Last time I was in a situation like this was in High School and Tiffany kissed me and I wasn’t very good because she didn’t do that again and I’m just -” He took a breath. “What if I’m a bad kisser?”

He’d be a great kisser, she was sure of it. He looked so worried and vulnerable and kissable. She wanted to kiss him which was stupid and irresponsible. Or a really solid plan. A great plan. She had helped him before, why stop now? His lips were lovely and she wanted to touch his hair. And his shoulders.

“Kiss me,” she said.

His eyes widened and he dropped his arms to his sides. “Excuse me?”

Yeah, maybe that was a bad idea. But there was no way back now and she just wanted to kiss him. _Help_ him. She lifted her chin. “Kiss me.”

“You want me to kiss you?”

She rolled her eyes. She had said it twice already! “How else could I form a proper opinion?”

“What if I’m horrible?”

“Then I’ll teach you better.” She loved kissing. She believed herself to be quite good. And he was just so … Damn. This was probably a terrible idea. She should kiss Argos or anybody else not currently in love with another woman.

Coulson swallowed hard. “Are you sure about this?”

No. She stepped up to him. Now they were as close as they’d been dancing. And he wanted Audrey and if he wouldn’t stop freaking out about one stupid silly kiss, they’d get nowhere.

“Just kiss me.” A kiss was just a kiss, right? And friends could kiss friends to give them the confidence they needed to kiss other people. Perfectly fine plan.

For a moment they stared at each other. He smelled good. And she wanted to touch him. The green shirt he wore suited him. Made his eyes look greener. He had lovely eyes. And lips.

His gaze jumped from her eyes to her lips and back again. “Okay,” he said. He didn’t move.

“Anytime now.”

“Hold still.”

She hadn’t moved since she took that step towards him. Otherwise she’d be kissing him already. But that wasn’t the point. No. She was just offering her lips for him to practice on. This was not for her amusement. Nope.

“Can I cradle your face?” he asked.

She raised a brow.

He swallowed. “I’m just a little worried I’ll miss your lips and it’ll be awkward and maybe if I’d have some guidance it would be -”

“You can cradle my face,” she interrupted with a smile.

“My palm might sweat. I’m sorry.” His voice was soft and low.

Oh, God. If he wouldn’t kiss her soon, she’d either lose her nerve and run or lose her mind and kiss him herself.

His hand was dry, felt good against her cheek. She leaned into his touch, but her smile faded. She wanted this kiss. Waiting almost killed her. Eventually he tilted his head when he leaned in. His eyes fluttered shut. She felt his breath on her face. She closed her eyes as their lips touched. His thumb brushed over her cheek. Her heart skipped a beat. He pressed his soft lips against hers and it felt fantastic. He nibbled on her bottom lip. She opened her mouth to return the favor and he moaned, which felt wonderful against her lips. His hand moved from her cheek to her nape. She pressed herself closer against him. The skin of his back was warm and smooth, she could feel the muscles underneath it, she could -

Crap.

She broke away and took a step back, pulling her hands out from under his shirt.

How the hell had she gotten her hands underneath his shirt? When? She lost complete control over herself and didn’t even notice. Crap!

He let go of her and she missed his touch. She missed touching him. She wanted to kiss him again, take off his clothes and rub herself against him. Crap, crap, crap. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She had Argos for this.

He opened his eyes, his gaze a little unfocused. They were both a little breathless. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Crap. She clenched her fists. She wanted to kiss him again so badly. Just one more time, just – No. He wasn’t a drug she tried to quit. No. Just no. She would walk away right now and be totally fine.

Swallowing, she took another step back.

“Audrey will be pleased with you,” she said. Because he didn’t want to kiss her, he wanted to kiss Audrey and tonight Argos would get a sexual work out and that was that.

“What?” Coulson glanced at her mouth and licked his lips. Damn him for that.

“Audrey,” she said. “Just kiss her like that. She’ll like it.”

“I …” He swallowed and she wanted to lick his throat. She still hadn’t touched his hair. Not just grace it like the day Anna cut it, but run her hands through it while she’d kiss him and press herself against him, preferably while he’d wrap his arms around her and - Damn. He just looked at her and she needed to get out now.

She turned and grabbed her bag from the floor.

“I have to go. I’m sorry,” she uttered. She had two condoms in the front pocket of that bag. She was so stupid.

Hormones. Horniness. Nothing else. But it never had felt like this with Thomas. It never felt like this with Argos.

Crap.

  
  


o0o

  
  


Phil could still taste her. May had left two minutes ago. Rushed out. Because their kiss meant something to her, right? Right? What other reason would she have to lose her cool like that? The kiss had affected her. He had affected her. God, he still felt the warmth of her palms on his back. she had had her hands underneath his shirt, her body pressed against his, with her breasts against his chest and her mouth … Oh God. He wanted to find her and kiss her again. For hours, preferably.

He bit his lip. Or she remembered she left her iron on and had to run to prevent a fire. Which would make more sense because as soon as she pulled away she had been so collected and calm. And she had thought about Audrey. Which should’ve been his part.

Crap. He was a fool.

The little moan May had made before their tongues touched. Her hair had graced his hand. The skin on her nape was soft. Her cheek was softer. He wanted to trace her face with kisses, he wanted – No.

His brain was just in a daze. Momentarily useless because of May’s kiss. Which was normal, probably. And he had longed to kiss her since he first saw her. Now that he had he was of course a little flustered. That was all.

Audrey would probably feel just as good. She was such a beautiful woman. And she smelled nice. She was funny. And sweet and … He wanted to kiss May again. If there was a chance of that to happen, he wanted it. He wanted her. He wanted to see how her face’d turn all soft under his touch before he’d kiss her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight.

Crap.

He grabbed his bag and left the training room. He would just check her room. If she was there, putting out a fire or something, he would just keep his mouth shut and help solve the problem. But if there was no emergency he would ask for another kiss.

He walked around a corner when Wen suddenly stepped in the middle of the floor. Like Phil, he wore training attire.

“She doesn’t love you,” Wen said, his arms crossed.

“Get out of my way.” They were still in the north tower and Phil felt like punching him just for that. This was May’s space.

Wen straightened up. He was taller than Phil, as if that would impress him. “She’ll make you fall in love with her, but she won’t love you back,” Wen said.

Pathetic. The poor slob was obviously desperate because he lost May. Well, too bad. And his fault alone. Phil couldn’t muster up any pity for him. Pressing his lips together, he walked around May’s ex. He didn’t want to deal with him. He had better things to do. Like finding out if kissing her again was an option.

“Melinda, she’s marvelous,” said Wen, now walking behind him. “Like a star. And just as distant.”

Fuck that guy. Really? Distant like a star? What kind of excuse of a poet would ramble such bullshit? And May wasn’t distant. Wen was an asshole. Phil clenched his fists. He could swing around his bag and probably knock Wen out, but no. If May wanted that guy on the ground, she’d put him there herself.

“You know she’s just kissing you because of a bet, right?”

Technically they had started to kiss because she had wanted to form an opinion on his skills, but whatever. Phil saw no sense in explaining it.

“You don’t mean anything to her.”

Pathetic. Truly pathetic. Wen was so jealous, it was almost funny.

Wen grabbed Phil by the shoulder and pulled him around. “I’m talking to you!”

Phil pulled free and scoffed at him. “Get over her, Wen. You’re not good enough.”

“But you are?”

Phil gritted his teeth. Probably. Maybe. Unless she just had an emergency.

Wen lifted a brow and raised his chin. “You know she’s screwing Argos, right? You’re not her only project.”

Then pain spiked in Phil’s knuckles as he crashed his fist against Wen’s face. Wen yelped and cursed.

Phil shook his fist and turned to walk away. He went for a run, still carrying his bag. He wore the wrong shoes. But it didn’t matter. He needed to move to keep himself from turning back around and punching Wen to mush.

May and Argos. Of course. It made sense. Probably. Somewhat. Crap.

Crap! He ran towards the forest.

It hurt and he still wanted to kiss May which was utterly stupid because as pathetic as Wen was, he was right. Of course Phil wasn’t good enough for her either.

And he didn’t really want her, really. No. Just a stupid crush. Kiss induced stupidity. They didn’t fit. Great friends, no chemistry aside that whatsoever. None.

He speeded up his steps. Given the possibility to kiss Captain America he would’ve felt the same. No, Melinda May was too high profile for him. She wasn’t somebody he could see a future with. She wasn’t someone he could tell his mum about or wake up to every morning or plan a life with. No. Melinda May had Argos and their kiss had been to help him with Audrey who was perfect for him and now that he remembered that, they all would be just fine.

He slowed down, dropped the bag, bowed over and took deep breaths. He felt dizzy and his chest hurt. But that was the lack of oxygen in his lungs. Not a broken heart.

As soon as he’d get home he’d call Audrey and confirm their date for the ball next Friday.


	11. The Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the king is announced.

 

Phil missed her, which was normal. It was normal to miss a friend. And that was what they were, right? Friends. He would’ve liked to talk to her about their tests and exams. He had seen her in a few classes. Sometimes she had been on before him. After his test at the shooting range he had left with his perfect score to watch her prepare her gun in another booth. They had nodded at each other and they had smiled, but they hadn’t talked. Since their kiss, May hadn’t come to the North Tower in the mornings. She was probably busy with Argos, who suited her much better anyway.

And he had Audrey. Lovely, kind, smart Audrey. She wasn’t a consolation prize, she was a main attraction and he was well aware of that. Especially today where she looked like a princess in her long, red gown. She smelled fantastic, like apples and vanilla. He enjoyed being close to her. He enjoyed holding her hand and talking to her and watching her smile. Audrey was wonderful, truly.

He hadn’t kissed her yet, but tonight he would. Hopefully. She had wonderful lips. Hand in hand they walked into the bar where the ball took place. This time the newbies had outdone themselves! The place looked great. Small lights framed every edge and every shelf of the bar. A big disco ball threw sparkling lights on the dance floor. There wasn’t a big crowd at the bar yet, that would start once the king and queen had been announced and they’d start giving out alcohol.

He noticed how Audrey looked around the room. She was the only civilian here, aside from the employees of the bar.

“Would you like some water?” he asked her, squeezing her hand.

Smiling, she shook her head. “I’m fine.” Then she looked past him and her eyes widened. “Melinda!” she called out, waving.

When he turned around, he found May walking towards them and his heart fluttered. She wore a silver, short dress, her hair was open, her lips painted bright red and he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to pull her close up against him and kiss her until her eyes would fall shut and she’d sigh. He wanted – No. He bit his inner cheek. Hard.

Audrey hooked her arm under his. He was here with her. He wanted to kiss her. And May was just… She was just … here.

May stopped in front of them and smiled at Audrey. “Hello,” she said. “You look lovely.”

“Oh, thank you.” Audrey smiled too and smoothed down her dress. “You look gorgeous yourself.”

May smiled at him. “Coulson.”

“May.” He didn’t like this distance between them.

May hid her hands behind her back. They needed to talk. Something was off between them and he missed her.

“I hope it’s okay, Phil brought me,” Audrey said lighthearted, but her fingers dug into his arm.

May tilted her head. “You signed the confidential agreement, right?”

Audrey paled. “Nobody told me, I didn’t know, I …”

“She’s messing with you,” he interrupted softly and covered Audrey’s hand on his arm with his other one.

Audrey took a breath. Her fingers relaxed under his. “I knew that. I was just playing along.” She was adorable.

“Of course you were.” May smirked challenging. Maybe they were fine after all.

“Are you here with Argos?” he asked her. Just to make conversation, of course. No other reason. She knew everything about his love life, hell, she had helped him get a love life and friends shared, right?

“Excuse me?” May raised a brow.

“I heard you and him were …”

“Nothing serious.”

He pressed his lips together, feeling Audrey’s gaze on his face. What the hell was he doing?

“Anyway …” May nodded shortly. “Have a lovely evening, you two.”

“Thanks,” Audrey could say, before May walked away. Hill, Hand and Janovčik stood at the other end of the room, he figured May was on her way to join them. Or she was looking for Argos. Nothing serious … Not that he cared.

He turned to Audrey. “Would you like to dance?” he asked.

She smiled at him brightly.

They danced until Brad Foster cleared his throat loudly at the stage ten minutes later.

“Time to announce the winners of the free booze!” Foster said a little too close to the microphone he was holding. The screeching sound made everybody flinch. Foster pulled a face and he held away the micro.

“Sorry,” he said. No screeching this time. He squinted at the piece of paper he held with his left. “Anyway, winners are …” he looked up at the crowd. “Phil Coulson for King …”

Phil’s eyes widened. Audrey hugged him and kissed his cheek. The people cheered and made space around him. Someone patted his shoulder from behind.

Foster waited for everybody to calm, before he continued, “and the marvelous Maria Hill for Queen!” Even louder cheering brooke loose.

“Mountains of the Hill! Mountains of the Hill!” some people chanted.

Audrey and Phil looked at each other. Phil could just shrugged. He had no idea what this was about.

“Will the happy winners please come up here?” asked Foster against the noise.

Oh dear. Phil preferred to stay in the background, but he probably should’ve thought about that before he had agreed to May’s plan. But who would’ve known it would work? Audrey giggled and guided him to the stage.

“Go, accept your crown,” she whispered in his ear. “You deserve this!” Yes, she was perfect. He smiled at her.

Hill made her way towards the stage, just like he did. Audrey let go of his hand when he walked up the few steps to the stage behind Hill. Fortunately she took the microphone from Foster.

“Thanks for the booze,” Hill said with a dry grin. “We need it.”

Laughter and more cheering from the crowd.

Phil nodded and kept his hands behind his back. Hill handed the micro back to Foster.

“Now the king and queen will dance and after that the alcohol shall finally flow!” he said.

Oh dear. Of course. The dance! How could he forget about that? Phil swallowed, but Hill already grabbed his hand and pulled him down to the dance floor. Of course they played a slow song. fantastic! She let him lead and looked over his shoulder.

He swayed them around, looking for Audrey in the crowd. She stood at the sidelines and waved at him, smiling all over her face. Such a cutie! His heart skipped a beat. She was so joyful. His mother would love her.

They kept moving and his gaze wandered along until he saw May at the bar. She had her back to him and looked up to Argos. Argos was laughing. But what did he care?

Hill moved her hand on his shoulder. He remembered how May’s hands felt against his skin. How good she had tasted. Crap. He swallowed hard. Better to focus on something else.

“Did you ever imagine the two of us here?” he asked Hill.

“Your campaign slogan was just brilliant.”

“I had a campaign slogan?” He pulled his head back to look up to her.

Hill sighed. “Vote for Phil, see the mountains of the Hill.”

What the …? “Excuse me?”

“That was your slogan.”

“Are you saying they didn’t vote for me but for your breasts?”

Hill raised a brow. Oh dear.

He swallowed hard as he felt himself blush. “They voted for you twice then,” he mumbled.

“My breasts deserve it.” Hill grinned.

He would not look down her dress, he would not! He looked her right in the eye. “I take your word for that.”

She snorted. “You’re trying hard to not stare at them now, don’t you.”

He blinked and twirled them around. “Yes.”

Hill giggled. For a moment, they just danced.

“Who came up with the slogan?” he asked then. “Because I swear it wasn’t me. I would’ve never -”

“Hand and I did,” Hill interrupted.

He stared at her again. “You sabotaged your own bet?” May really had the strangest friends …

Hill shrugged slightly. “May needs a win.” She glared at him. “Don’t you dare tell her.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” He smiled. Whatever he might think of her, she was truly a friend to May. For that he was grateful. “Thank you.”

Hill snorted. “Pervert!”

And again he blushed. “Not that! - Well … “ He took a deep breath and shrugged before he looked over her shoulder and into the crowd as they kept dancing. “You’re a good friend, Hill.”

He looked at the crowd again and saw Hand and Janovčik leaning against each other, side by side. They looked so at peace. He wanted that, too.

“May … she’s special,” Hill said.

“Yeah, she really is.” He thought about May’s lips. How her hands had felt against his skin, about her taste. Soft, gentle, sweet. He pressed his lips together. He shouldn’t think about her like this. He really, really shouldn’t.

Hill’s hand crept up from his shoulder to his neck and he looked at her.

“If you hurt her I will hurt you right back,” she said, stroking his neck with her thumb.

He lifted his chin and squinted. “She’s my friend. I wouldn’t hurt her.”

“You’re an idiot, Coulson.”

“Excuse me?”

“You and Audrey, is it serious?”

Yeah, like he’d discuss his love life with Hill. “It’s none of your business.” What was happening?

“Why haven’t you trained with May since the engagement party?”

Because May hadn’t shown up and he had no idea why she was avoiding him. If she was avoiding him at all or just busy. “You gotta ask her,” he said.

“But I’m asking you.”

“Song’s over, Hill.” And it was. He let go and pulled away, leaving Hill behind on the dance floor as he walked over to Audrey. She still stood a little aside the crowd, but she didn’t seem uncomfortable. Her face lit up as he got closer and his heart skipped a beat. Yes, this was the right thing. This was the right one.

Audrey smiled at him and ran her hands over his arms. He really liked that she touched him so much.

“Everything alright?” she asked, with just the slightest hint of concern in her voice.

He grinned. “I just won free booze for the evening.”

“I’m so proud.” She rubbed his arms.

“Don’t be. I was just a play ball in someone else’s game.”

She chuckled and he wanted to kiss her. “What?” she asked.

“It’s a long story.”

“One you’re allowed to share?”

He chuckled. “Maybe someday.” Like maybe when they’d be more stable and May’s weird friends couldn’t scare her off anymore.

She tilted her head and ran her hands up to his shoulders. “You’re a mysterious man, Phil Coulson.”

His heart skipped another beat. “You’re the first one to ever say that to me.” His smile widened. She had such beautiful lips.

“I’m having a great time tonight,” she said.

“Yeah, me too.” Hill was weird and he wasn’t sure if he and May were okay, but this right here was perfect. He lifted his hands to her elbows.

She stepped a little closer. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”

“I thought it’ll be polite if I’d wait until I bring you home,” he stuttered. “I don’t want you to -”

She entwined her fingers behind his neck. “Phil.”

“Hm?” He swallowed hard, his gaze jumped from her eyes to her mouth and back. Gosh, she smelled so very good. She was so close.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since I first saw you,” Audrey said.

His stomach fluttered, his eyes fell shut and their lips touched. Her mouth was as soft and as gentle as it had looked. The kiss was almost perfect. But May had tilted her head to the other side, May had tasted different. He shouldn’t compare. And May shouldn’t win. May shouldn’t be in his thoughts at all. Audrey sighed gently. He just needed to try harder. This here was right. This here was what he wanted, what would make him happy in the long run. He moved his hands to Audrey’s hips and kissed her deeper.


	12. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the bet is paid.

Melinda hadn’t slept. Exams and tests were all behind her and yesterday she had celebrated long and hard. She had danced. She had drunk. Her head hurt a little, but no matter. It was ten in the morning, in twenty minutes Hill would make good on her bet and then she could go to her room and roll up in her bed. She was just tired, that was all.

This morning, on her way back home to her dorm room, she had found a letter in her mail box. Official SHIELD business. She and Coulson had been assigned for the same mission. Fury would share the details a day after the graduation ceremony. Two more days.

Crap, crap, crap.

Quickly, she walked down the stairs of her dorm to the entrance. She wanted to get a cream bagel for herself and a chocolate croissant for Hill to give to her once she’d be dressed again. She pushed the exit door open and blinked against the bright sunlight. Her eyes burned and she fished her sunglasses out of the side pocket of her leather jacket.

So Coulson had kissed Audrey at the ball. Perfect. Because that had been the plan all along, right? To get Coulson what he wanted and he wanted Audrey. Her heart had cramped at the sight. How could this’ve been worse than learning about Thomas’ cheating?

“Coulson, he loves that Audrey girl,” Thomas said next to her.

She glanced to her left and there he was. Crap. Her hand clenched around her glasses, she heard a crunching sound and she relaxed her fingers quickly, but it was too late. the left temple had broken off. Crap. Speeding up her step, she gritted her teeth and pushed the broken sunglasses back into her pocket. She wanted to punch his sunglasses off his nose. Frankly, she just wanted to punch him. He had a bruise on the right side of his jaw. Looked painful. It made her feel a little better.

“They’re cute together,” Thomas said. His long legs probably made it ridiculously easy for him to keep up with her. I’m sure they’ll grow old and boring together. But that’s not for us, Melinda.”

“Don’t speak to me,” she hissed, her gaze focused on straight ahead.

He grabbed her arm and turned her to him. She punched his right kidney and he yelped.

He didn’t double over, though. He was a tough asshole. He held his side and took a step away. She had her hands up in fighting position. She really wanted to punch him again.

“You’re my best friend” he said. “We’ve known each other since kindergarden. You’re my first love. My only love.”

She should just leave. Or punch him again and then leave. “Screw you, Thomas.”

“He’s not good enough for you.”

She took a breath and let her hands down, before she leered, “What happened to your face, Thomas?”

“Your boy toy.”

“Argos?”

“Coulson.”

What? Coulson had punched him? Why? When? “Does it hurt?” she asked.

He touched his jaw briefly and tilted his head. “Yes.”

“Good.”

“Coulson’s not good enough for you,” Thomas said. “He doesn’t know you like I -”

“We don’t know each other anymore, Thomas.” She felt like she had never known him. Why the hell was he doing this to her? She knew she couldn’t have Coulson. She knew that and she really didn’t need him to rub it in.

“I could’ve made you happy,” he said and took off his sunglasses.

She snorted and took a step back. He was kidding, right? But he looked at her and he was not. There was desperation in his eyes. She took a deep breath. Oh God, what were they doing to each other. He was her oldest friend. She missed him and this was horrible.

“You were right,” she said quietly. “I never loved you. Not like you wanted me to.” Hating him was so much easier, but she was tired. “I’m sorry for that. I really am.”

“I don’t care anymore. I just want you back.” He took a step in her direction, but she backed off.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. “I miss you, Melinda.”

She missed her oldest friend. Right now he was the man who betrayed her. Whatever love she had had for him, he had betrayed it. And she didn’t want to be close to him.

“I still love you,” he said.

Yeah, she still loved him, too. He was family. She sighed. She didn’t want to constantly be this angry. “That’s not enough for either of us.”

He looked at her like she had just punched him again. “We’re through,” he said quietly.

Yes, they were. She pressed her lips together and nodded shortly. He swallowed hard and looked away. They were really, truly over. She turned and started walking. This time he didn’t follow, which was for the best, because Hill came towards her.

She took one look at Melinda and took a deep breath, glaring at Thomas over Melinda’s shoulder. “I’m gonna -”

“Stay.”

“I’m not a dog, May.”

“Your sense of smell is subpar, true.” She sighed and took Hill’s arm, before she pulled her away with her towards the cafeteria. She needed a bagel and Hill looked like she could use a croissant.

“Can I at least kick him in the nuts?” Hill asked. “Just once?”

“I’m over him.”

“I’m not,” Hill growled. “I want to hurt him.”

“Coulson punched him.”

“At least that he did right.”

“Excuse me?”

Hill looked at her. “What happened between the two of you?”

They had kissed, she wanted to kiss him again and he wanted to kiss Audrey. She swallowed. “Nothing.”

Hill nodded and brushed her arm against hers. “You don’t want to talk about it.”

She really didn’t want to. So she raised a brow and asked, “Are you ready for your big show?”

Hill snorted. “I was born ready.”

  
  


o0o

  
  


Five minutes later, Melinda held a paper bag with Hill’s croissant and stood on the sideline walk in front of the main hall and looked up to the little hill in the middle of campus, where Hill stood proudly and dropped her coat, revealing her body. And then she walked, held up high. Like a queen. People cheered loudly around them. Campus was full. Three people to her left, Professor Arden for communicative devices asked what was going on. A student pointed out that this was a bet and the professor just nodded, before she moved along. Melinda grinned as she saw Hand picking up the coat behind Hill.

Then she noticed movement within the right corner of her eye. Coulson. Her stupid, stupid heart skipped a beat and her stomach pulled itself together. She clenched her hand around the broken sunglasses. She really wished she could hide her eyes now.

“Enjoying your victory?” Coulson asked. There was a smile in his voice. Damn him.

“Are you?” She looked at him to find a smile on his face too. And of course he was wearing sunglasses.

He tilted his head. “I didn’t wake up with a hangover the next day so I feel like I missed out.”

She chuckled. She loved his sense of humor. Crap.

“I’ve gotten my first assignment this morning,” he said.

“Me too.” He was a good agent. And they were friends. She blinked at him.

He cleared his throat. “Are we good?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Feels like you’re avoiding me.”

She wanted to kiss him. Reason enough to avoid him, at least until she had this urge under control. “Just busy,” she said.

“So it’s not a problem to work together?”

“Of course not.” She would get over this, of course she would. And he would be happy with Audrey and she would kick ass and become the best agent Shield had ever seen. She looked back at Hill.

“She threw the bet,” she mumbled. “Told everyone to vote for you.”

“How did you find out?” He didn’t sound surprised. He had known. Of course.

She snorted. “Everybody yelling for the mountains of the Hill was one hint.”

“She’s a good friend.”

She turned to look at him. “Am I that pitiful?”

“I don’t think she pities you.”

She pressed her lips together.

Coulson sighed. “I think her hate for Wen outweighs her sense for competition.” He brushed his arm against hers. Damn him. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to kiss him again. Damn him.

“Heard you punched him,” she said.

“Tried to walk around him, my hand tripped.”

“I don’t need you to defend my honor.”

“I don’t think you need defending from anything, May.”

She felt defeated right now. She really didn’t want to be in love. It didn’t feel like she thought it would. But she guessed heartbreak made it sour. He was such a good, good man and she wanted to get as close to him as physically possible. She wanted him to look at her like he had looked at Audrey before she had kissed him.

She cleared her throat. “How’s Audrey?”

“Fantastic.” He grinned and pulled up his shoulders as he hid his hands behind his back. “I might introduce her to my mother soon. Kinda brought that up after the ball and she liked the idea.”

His mother. Oh God. “You’re serious about her.”

“She’s wonderful.”

“You deserve someone wonderful.” She wanted him to be happy and she didn’t want to turn into Thomas, trying to bind someone to her who didn’t want her. She didn’t want to cheat herself like that.

But their kiss, how he had leaned into her, how he had – No. This wasn’t fair to neither of them. Hope had to go. She needed to work with him and pining after him was unprofessional.

“How do you know when you’re in love?” she asked.

“Excuse me?”

“You and Audrey … How did you know that you were in love with her?” Hearing about that could be a cure, right? Better a painful end than endless pain.

“She’s just perfect, you know?”

“Thomas was perfect and I didn’t love him.” She bit her lip. Crap.

He shook his head. “You keep saying that. I don’t think it’s true.”

God, how could he know her so well? The edge of her sunglasses dug into her palm. “I loved him,” she said and looked away. “He was my best friend. Like a part of myself. But I never … He never made feel like …” Like Coulson did.

“Like what?” Of course he had to ask that.

She looked up at him again. “Like being with him is safe and thrilling at the same time. Like just looking at him makes me catch my breath. Like I want to kiss –“ She bit her lip. She wanted to kiss him so much. “Do you have that with Audrey?”

“She’s truly wonderful,” he said. He said that so very often, his words seemed empty.

“Please, just -”

“No. I don’t have that with her. Not yet. But it’ll grow. All relationships grow.”

That was what she had told herself for years. “I couldn’t do it. I tried so hard to love Thomas as much as he loved me and I couldn’t.”

“He wasn’t the right one.”

“I know.” Maybe Audrey wasn’t the right one for him. Melinda felt awful for thinking that.

“But you and Argos, you could be …”

“No.” He had brought up Argos at the ball as well. Why did he keep doing this?

He sighed. “Don’t give up on what you want just because Wen’s a jerk.”

What a joke.

She nodded. Maybe twenty more minutes and she could run and hide.


	13. Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they talk about drawings

When she had spoken about love, his heart had skipped a beat. Phil still had a lump in his throat. Safe and thrilling at the same time … He never had trusted anybody more than he trusted May. Somehow it got harder to keep himself hidden, when she was around. She made him feel understood. And safe. And kissing her had been like -

He pressed his lips together as he walked back to his dorm, making his way through a bulk of students. Kissing Audrey had been wonderful. Sweet and soft and tender. Safe in another way. He doubted Audrey would ever hurt him.

And May … He needed to stop thinking about her. Even more so, he needed to stop wanting her. They’d be such brilliant friends and Audrey would be his love. He could do it.

In half an hour he would meet Audrey for lunch and he couldn’t be happier about it. She was such a wonderful person.

He wished May all the best. As a friend he wanted her to be happy. And if Argos could give her that, who was he to object? Who was he to have any opinion on that matter at all?

“Didn’t you hear anything I told you yesterday?” Hill called and stormed up towards him.

“Coulson!” she hissed, still wearing nothing more than ballerinas and her coat. The students surrounding them stared. How brilliant!

“What is it now?” he asked.

Hill put her hands on her hips and glared. “Do you love her?”

“What?” Geez, why was Hill so obsessed with his personal life?

“Are you in love with her?” she asked.

“May and I are friends.”

“Funny,” Hill said and lifted a brow. “I’m talking about love and first thing that pops up in your mind is May.”

He started to sweat. Crap. How he wished it wasn’t true. How he wished he’d made the connection because Hill was closer to May than to Audrey. He took a deep breath and clenched his fists. “What the hell is your problem? What do you want me to do?”

Hill glared. “Stop hurting my best friend!”

“I don’t have that kind of power.”

“You didn’t see her face when you kissed Audrey.”

He shouldn’t feel hope because of it. He swallowed hard. “Are you always fighting her battles?”

“Don’t change subject.”

“No.” He shook his head. He was so done with Hill’s crap! “This is about you mingling in May’s life and what you think she needs and it’s absolutely meaningless until May decides she wants the same.” He took a breath. His heart was racing. May wasn’t here. But Audrey would be soon. “Now please excuse me, I have to meet my girlfriend for lunch,” he said coldly.

“Phil?” someone asked behind him. A hand touched his shoulder. He knew that touch.

“Audrey!” He turned to her, his eyes widened. She stood behind him to his left, wearing a blue dress with tiny dots and a bright smile. She was like sunshine.

Hill shook her head and pushed her hands into the pockets of her coat. “He’s gonna break your heart,” she said and looked Audrey up and down before she walked off.

Audrey frowned. “What’s she talking about?”

“According to her I should be in love with May.” He snorted. What a joke. His heart was still racing. What an awful, cruel joke. Audrey was so much better for him.

“Are you?” Audrey asked. Her gaze searched his face.

He swallowed. “I’m with you.” Of course he was. He reached for her hand and his heartbeat slowed down. She was the right one, she must be. Her hand fit perfectly into his. He smiled at her.

And she smiled back. “Okay.” She rubbed her thumb over his skin.

He liked how she touched him. She was the most kindest person he had met in his life. May would never touch him like that. She would never – Her hand on his arm. His shoulder. That look in her eyes when she had told him about her father. He was ruining things again.

He bit his lip, before he said, “I’m sorry I’m not ready to go yet …” He had sweated through his shirt, but he would fix that.

“I’m early, no need to apologize. I just couldn’t wait. I hope that’s okay.” She squeezed his hand. She had the most sweetest smile! He would be crazy not to love her.

“Of course. I’d like to change into another shirt before we go, is that okay?”

“Sure,” she said, “I always wanted to see your room.”

“Oh.” He hadn’t thought about that. She hadn’t seen him without a shirt yet. He could change in his bathroom or would that be awkward?

“If that’s okay,” she added quickly, “I don’t want to intrude, I could wait …”

“No.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. “You’re right. But keep your expectations low, it’s tiny and I already started packing.”

“Are you sure?”

Thus far they had kissed but that was as far as it had gone. But just because she came into his room and he’d take his shirt off, didn’t mean that anything would happen. And even if, she had lovely skin and soft, great lips. He should want this more. “Yes.” He squeezed her hand again. “Come.”

  
  


o0o

  
  


Most of his stuff was already packed up in boxes. Tomorrow was graduation day, the day after Fury would brief May and him for their first mission. Which most likely meant that soon he’d leave Audrey behind to get to work. With May. Which would be fine.

Smiling, Audrey walked through his room. Not that there was much space to walk, packed boxes and boxes still waiting to be filled occupied most of the floor.

Then she stopped in front of one box and chuckled. “You have enough white shirts to fill a whole box with them?”

He ran a hand through his hair. “They’re a classic for a reason.” Or were they not? He felt himself blush and Audrey looked at him.

“You do look good in white shirts,” she said.

“What about blue?” he asked as he pulled a fresh light blue t shirt out of his almost empty closet.

“Makes your eyes shine,” she said. She was perfect.

He grinned and turned before he pulled his shirt over his head.

“Drawings …” Audrey mumbled. Her voice sounded a little squeaky. “Are your notebooks in there?”

He pushed the dirty shirt into an empty self of his closet and turned to her, holding the blue shirt in his hand. She had her back to him and kneeled next to the box in which he had packed his notebooks. “Yes.”

She glanced at him and ran her hands over the edges of the box. “Is it okay if I look at them?”

“Aren’t you hungry?” Was she blushing?

“I can hold out for a bit.”

“Okay.” What else was he to say? He pulled the shirt over his head. When he looked at her again, she took out one of the notebooks and quickly flipped through it, before her movements slowed down.

She nibbled on her lip. “It’s just her,” she said and looked at him. “May. You just drew her.”

Oh God. His first notebook! Of course she had to grab that one. Of course! Crap. “I had a crush on her first semester,” he explained quickly and hid his hands behind his back. First semester he had drawn her again and again. “It’s embarrassing now, but -”

“The drawings are from last week.”

Crap. He paled. He had been so stressed throughout all these tests and exams and drawing always relaxed him and May had avoided him and … Crap. He started sweating again. Crap.

Audrey took a deep breath and stood up. “Are you sure you want this? Because if you don’t I’d rather know now.”

He shrugged. “How could I not want you?”

“You tell me.”

“I think we …” He was ruining this! Oh God. Crap. He swallowed. “I think we could’ve something great.” He wanted them to work. Really.

“I think I should go.” Audrey bent down and placed the note book on top of the others.

“Audrey, please …”

She shook her head. “You’re not being fair.”

“There’s nothing going on between me and May.” Because there wasn’t. And he knew he could feel like that for Audrey if he just -

“This is about us,” she said and looked at him. “It’s like you’re trying to convince yourself you want this.” Her voice trembled. She pressed her lips together.

He was ruining this. He was hurting her. Crap.

“Do you want me?” she asked.

“I’m trying, I …”

“Not good enough.”

He felt awful. How could he fail at this? “I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.”

“What does that mean?”

“We’re over.” She swallowed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You seem relieved.”

He was. Damn him, but he felt lighter. Free. He would have to lie to his mother about this, of course. But still. He was relieved. And he was so, so very sorry.

She took a shaky breath. “Could you please not come to the Symphony for a while?”

He could only nod. Then she was gone.

He ruined it. Because he was in love with Melinda May.


	14. Graduation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they reach the next level.

As Melinda buttoned up the white blouse she wanted to wear to the graduation ceremony that would start in half an hour, she looked at the boxes in her room. They were filled up with all her things. She was done with this place. She was ready for something new. Something more than just training. She wanted to change the world. With Coulson. Together. As partners.

She would enjoy it, she was sure of it. They’d become such good friends. She could tell him things and he didn’t try to fix it or get mad like Hand and Hill. He just was there. She didn’t feel alone with him. That was a basis for great friendship, right?

She had fallen in love with him so quickly, so effortlessly and without warning, she was sure if she’d put her mind to it, she could reverse the affect just as sudden. She swallowed hard and blinked. No reason to be upset now. Tomorrow her new life would start.

Taking a breath, she turned to her mirror and adjusted the collar of the blouse, before she reached for the red lip stick on her desk.

Behind her, someone knocked on her door. Hill, probably. Hand would come to the ceremony with Anna.

“Come in!” she called and pulled the lid from her lipstick just to drop it as she caught the reflection of her mother in the mirror.

“Mum.” She straightened up and turned around, lipstick still in hand. “You came.”

Head held high, her mother came in. “Of course I came.”

This was surreal. “I thought your work …”

Her mother walked up to her. “You look good.”

What? She swallowed. “Thank you.” Her hand cramped around the lipstick. She wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready at all.

Lin May frowned. “What’s wrong?”

She was a mess and heartbroken and she didn’t want her mother to witness it. Hiding it from Hill and Hand was hard enough. She pressed her lips together.

Her mother squinted. “Is it Thomas again?” she asked, before she shook her head. “I should’ve dealt with this more severely.”

Of course. Because she didn’t trust her to deal with Thomas.

Melinda lifted her chin. “I’m focusing on my work, I told you.”

“That’s why I didn’t want you here.”

“Excuse me?”

Her mother touched her left arm. “There’s more to life than this.”

No. Just no. This was right. SHIELD was right for her. Work felt good. Melinda shook her head. “I’m trying. You’ll see. I won’t disappoint.”

“I’m not disappointed in you.” Her mothers voice was harsh.

Yeah, right. Melinda swallowed and turned around to put the lid back on the lipstick. Makeup needed to wait until her mother was gone again.

“Look at me,” her mother said and placed her hand on Melinda’s shoulder, pulling at it slightly.

Melinda dropped lid and lipstick. With her lips pressed together, she faced her again.

Her mother sighed. “You’re so much like me, it’s scary.” She touched her arms with both hands and rubbed them up and down. “I’m not disappointed. I just want more for you than living for others. I had your father to …” She sighed again and squeezed Melinda’s arms. “I want you to have people. Have a life.”

Oh God.

Her eyes burned and her mother looked at her with so much tenderness. Melinda pulled in a sharp breath.

“I don’t need Thomas for that,” she said.

“Of course not.”

“Hill and Hand blew up his toilet.”

Her mother grinned. “I always liked them.”

“And there’s … I made a new friend. We’ll serve our first mission together.”

“Coulson.” Of course her mother knew. When it came to business, her mother had always known.

“He’s a good man.” Maybe she shouldn’t talk about him. Her eyes started burning, her heart ached. She was so foolish! “He’s in love with someone else,” she explained quickly, “so there’s nothing between us, I …”

“He’s an idiot.”

Oh God. “He’s really not.” She pressed her lips together.

Her mother sighed. “That bad?”

Worse. So, so much worse. But he and Audrey would be so happy and they’d be friends and she’d save the world and it would be enough. She had lived years without loving like this, she would get back to that.

Her mother rubbed her arms gently and they looked at each other. Crap, she would cry! She felt like crying ever since Coulson had kissed Audrey at the ball. So very stupid. Crap.

She took another breath. “What did you mean by dealing with Thomas more severely?” she asked.

Her mother tilted her head. “I just told a few friends that Thomas’ loyalty is questionable.”

One way to describe his cheating. “What friends?”

“High level agents of several influential agencies.” Then her mother grinned. “He might graduate today but he won’t find any agency in this country to work for.”

“But SHIELD …”

“Fury never liked him anyway.”

Melinda could just stare at her mother. What should she say to that?

“At first I wanted to just shoot him, which I can still do, if you want,” her mother said and rubbed her arms again.

“Thomas and I are through.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Her mother sighed. “Your father, he’d be so proud of you.”

Oh God.

Her mother held her and rubbed her back as she allowed herself to let go for five minutes. And she felt lost and found at the same time.

  
  


o0o

  
  


With her make up restored, Melinda and her mother made it to the graduation just in time to meet up with Hill, Hand and Anna. Both, Hill and Hand shot her questioning looks, glancing at her mother, but there was no time to talk. Not even an hour later, they had graduated.

Each of them had gotten their degrees, now they were standing in front of their dorm, just the three of them. And Anna, who was holding Hand’s hand. Melinda’s mother had left two minutes ago. Work. Hill opened a bottle of cheap sparkly wine with a swiss knife. God knew where she had hidden both during the ceremony. She took a sip and handed to bottle to Melinda.

“When will you leave?” Hand asked Hill.

“In an hour.”

Melinda took a big gulp and gave the bottle to Hand. This was goodbye.

“You’re coming to the wedding,” Hand said and looked at Hill and her. “Otherwise I’ll hunt you down and kill you.”

“Seconded,” said Anna, before she took the bottle.

This hurt, too.

“When will you leave?” Anna asked her.

Melinda shrugged. “My things are packed, but I don’t know. Fury will brief us tomorrow.”

Hill frowned. “You and Coulson.”

Anna’s eyes widened and she straightened up as she looked to her left at the campus. “Coulson!”

Hill and Melinda turned to watch him walk towards them.

“Hi,” he said.

Hand nodded at him. Anna waved.

Hill and Coulson glared at each other, then he stood in front of her and Melinda didn’t care. He smiled and she wanted to touch him. She wanted to kiss him.

“You look good,” he said.

“Thank you. You too.” Her mouth was dry, her heart was racing. She was so in love with him, it was ridiculous. She hid her hands behind her back.

He tilted his head and blinked against the sunlight. “I saw your mother is here.”

“Yes.”

“That’s good.”

“It is.” She swallowed. “I’m sorry your mother can’t be here.”

“It’s okay.” He shrugged, but she knew him better. Her hand touched the soft fabric of his shirt and rubbed his arm, before she even realized she had reached out for him.

“I got a cover for her,” he said with a smile. “A new job as an financial adviser who travels to different companies. Safe and boring. She’ll be pleased.” He took a breath. “About what you said … about love. Would you fight for it if you’d find it?”

To her love meant setting free. She pulled her hand away. “Will you meet Audrey later?”

“We broke up.”

What? “Why?” Oh, please … Hope flared up but he looked so uneasy, she felt guilty. So far she wasn’t a really good friend to him.

“Could we go somewhere more private?” he asked anxiously.

The others were staring at them. She gulped and nodded. Together they walked away and around a corner to hide behind the building and in the shadow.

“Are you okay?” she asked with her hands behind her back again. She longed to touch him.

“No,” he said.

She looked at the ground. “I’m sure Audrey and you can work things out.”

He sighed again. “I can’t stop thinking of you. We’re gonna be partners and it’s against regulations and you think of me as a friend, I know and I’m not gonna mention it again but this is why Audrey broke up with me, because I’m in –.”

What? With her mouth open, she stared at him. He was hiding his hands as well, his face flushed.

“I promise I won’t make this awkward for you,” he said. “I just …” He shrugged as if to apologize. “What you said, I feel that with you. Whenever you’re close I feel stronger and braver and everything’s brighter and… I know you just went through something like this with Wen and I promise this isn’t the same. I won’t cling. I’m not expecting anything, I just want an honest answer, I just want –“

She placed her hands on his shoulders and he gasped.

“This,” he said. “I want this. You.”

Oh God. She moved her hands from his shoulders to his nape. His eyes fell shut when she stroked his skin above the collar. Unable to hold back longer, she tiptoed and placed her lips above his, before she nibbled on his bottom lip.

He sighed and grabbed her hips. She tasted him again and he pulled her against him. This was so much better than their first kiss. This was perfect. Her heart raced. She caressed his nape, his hair. He felt so good!

His hands roamed over her back, holding her close to him, as she broke away from his mouth to kiss his cheek. His chin. His ear.

“I want you, too. I really, really do,” she whispered and nibbled on his earlobe. “I was talking about you. I didn’t think I could feel like this about someone but I do. I want this with you.”

He shivered and buried his face in the curve of her neck. “So …” he rasped against her skin, “will you go out with me again?”

“Yes.” She pressed herself closer against him.

“Because that’s what I wanted to ask. If you’d go on a second date with me.” He kissed her throat.

“Yes.” He felt so very good!

“I know our first date was lousy, but I -”

“Phil, I said yes.”

She felt his smile on her skin. “You called me Phil.”

“Is that okay?”

“Yes.”

Good, because she loved calling him by his first name. She loved him. “You could call me Melinda.” That would be a start.

“Melinda …” He leaned his forehead against hers. Perfect. She kissed him again. Utterly perfect.

Her life was in boxes and they had so many things to figure out, but she wasn’t scared. He was holding her tight and she wasn’t scared at all. With him she felt safe and life was thrilling.


End file.
